When THINGS Get HEAVY

Have you ever had a moment, a morning, or longer that you just can't get your hands or head around some HEAVINESS that hit you?  Yeah, me too...

There are moments in life that don’t feel dramatic enough to explain...but they still hurt.  A strange silence in the house, a hard conversation that replays in your head all day, a morning where everything seems difficult before you even get out of bed, or maybe just a season where nothing is technically wrong...but nothing feels right either.

Join Dave for some lightening talk about:

• 10 Situations That Commonly Create Angst, Anxiety, or Depression
• 10 Things To Consider During Difficult Seasons
• 5 Things Life Often Tells You Instead
• 5 Ways To Embrace Difficult Seasons
• 5 Ways To Make The Peaks Higher And The Valleys Less Deep

There is a strange peace that comes with experience.

You’ve survived things you once thought would destroy you.

And maybe that is one of the greatest forms of confidence a human being can possess.

If you are in a difficult season right now, hear this clearly: You are not broken because life feels heavy. You are human.

The goal is not to avoid every storm. The goal is to become the kind of person who remembers that storms pass.

Because they do.

And one day, often when you least expect it, you’ll laugh again, breathe easier again, feel hope again, and realize you made it through something that once felt impossible.

Giddyup!!!

Email David@Otalks.com or OWD@Otalks.com for comments, questions, or ideas for content on an upcoming O'talkin' with Dave podcast.  Otalks.com

Check out OtalksOfficial on Instagram and TikTok

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome to O'Talkin' with Dave.

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Coming to you from his fortress in Sin City, put your hands together for the pastor of positivity whose glass is always at least half full. Here's Dave. Hey! How are we doing out there? I hope you're great. I am top shelf and ready to go. Ready to go. So I'm gonna be doing a whole series. I uh I've done quite a few recently that are pretty heavy. And that's the title of today When Things Get Heavy. And then we're gonna do a little more lighthearted stuff. I know I used to people would ask why I don't say who I'm speaking to when I put that. I just put the cities. Early on, I got a bit of a reputation for going places where people had trouble. And it's almost revealing something's wrong over there because Dave's coming in to talk. It's not that way anymore. It's a lot more lighthearted. It's productivity over depression and pitfalls and all of that. However, I believe a good attitude and some processes help when you get through times that are heavy. So we're gonna do this one, and then I promise some more lighthearted stuff is coming up. However, today we want to talk about when things get heavy, not crushing necessarily. Just it's tougher. You're having a tougher time because sometimes life weighs more than you expect it at different times, and you never know when it's gonna get a little bit heavier. And a lot of these moments, they're not important enough to really explain or define exactly what's going on, but they still hurt little things like a quiet house. I love a quiet house. Usually my my friend in there, when I say her name, play some music, and she'll do it. I can make the house not quiet. It's not necessarily about the level of sound. I remember when my mom was still alive, and we'd bring the kids and the grandkids and even some great-grandkids over, and it was just crazy. Sometimes there were 20 or 30 people in the house, running everywhere, laughing, having a great time. And we lived in outside of Nashville at the time, and when I would drive home, of course, I would always, mom didn't have a at this at this time, I don't think anybody had a smartphone. But anyway, I would call just to say, hey, made it home all right, had a great time. And she would always say the same thing. It sure is quiet here now. And that was a heavy quiet for her. Not that we didn't have a great time, it's just it hit her a little differently than it did everyone else. Maybe it's a conversation, a difficult conversation that you've already had. Maybe it was difficult because someone was saying something you didn't really care for, or vice versa. But you keep replaying that in your mind. That's a heaviness in a different way. I remember watching my kids struggle, whether it's when they're young trying to play a sport, or goodness, they learning to ride a bike or skinning their knees or with school or whatever it was, that created a heaviness for me. Then you got some bigger things losing a job, a marriage ending, maybe it's a health scare, or financial problems, maybe it's just loneliness. All of it creates heaviness while your life needs to continue. You need to be productive. Other things are going. Maybe there's nothing technically wrong. You can't put your finger on it. I don't know what's wrong, but I do know something's not right. All of that can cloud your day. And you've got a lot to do today. So, heaviness that I'm talking about, it doesn't always announce itself. It just climbs up your back and hangs out on your shoulders. We don't know for how long either. It's just there. One disappointment, one responsibility, one sleepless night, one worry. Oh, it gets heavy. So, and then one morning you wake up and you think, why does everything feel so hard, so difficult? So that's what I want to talk about. How what the challenges are and how to deal with them. Because we've got to learn to carry difficulty. There will always be difficulty, without allowing it to carry us down the wrong road or the wrong mindset. Because it's going to take us to a place that's not good for us. So let's talk about just 10 situations. You're all familiar with all of these, but I want to talk about each one individually. Ten situations that cause angst, anxiety, maybe can lead to depression, but they're real. They're real. So let's just start with a relationship loss. It could be a marriage, it could be a romantic interest, it could be a good friend or a family member. And each one of these, defining on what is the heaviness. Sometimes when you lose a relationship, or a relationship is over, it's not just losing that connection with that person, it's losing the future you imagined with that person, the things you had to look forward to. You lost that too. That's why it takes a little longer sometimes, and it comes in phases, and it's, I'm not going to go through all of that. But it's a real heaviness. Financial pressure. That's another one. That can lead to health problems. Sick can lead to all sorts of stuff. And the problems will steal, financial problems will steal your sleep long before they'll steal your money. They distract you. They cause worry and stress. It's very real. And then the third one is health problems. The first two can lead to number three, health problems. And it's not just the health problems that cause heaviness are not just yours. I had a dear friend recently who had a possible health scare. And the fact that it could be a challenge or a reality, it affected both of us and probably more. We kept it pretty quiet. However, that caused a heaviness for me as well. And then if you were to lose someone, and I'm not talking about relationship, but if it could be a death, or maybe I've done this to my family several times, move across the country. So the distance is there. Yeah. Or part of this is when you're losing someone, they've become something you don't even recognize. They're different. I don't know. It could be from for a bunch of different reasons. Maybe they've gone through something in their life and they behave differently. Maybe there's a substance abuse challenge. Maybe there's a depression that's taking them down a dark road. I know someone who used to be dear to me who I don't even recognize her anymore. So that's a loss. That's a heaviness. Also, sometimes we just feel stuck. Got a great life. And these are the hard ones to understand, especially if it's not you. But I've been that way. You do the same thing. You got a great life, but I know I'm capable of more, and I don't know where to start. That makes me act a little differently. A little, it creates my heaviness, which can cause others to wonder what's wrong with Dave? He's got it made. Look at all of this. Why is he depressed? Why is he upset? Why is he down? Some people just feel stuck. And then there's loneliness. You can be surrounded by people and still be utterly, utterly alone or unseen. I remember at a time in my life I was speaking to 1,600 people. Got to introduction, clapping, they were laughing. I was so homesick. I just I felt all alone. And people feel loneliness in different ways. Sometimes they feel lonely because the person or the people they want to be with aren't there. They may be getting adoration, they may be getting all the signs of support, but they're just not in a good place for that. And it's not the adoration or the support that they're looking for. It's heavy. It's heavy. I'm telling you, constant stress, your body eventually believes that this emergency is permanent. You know, these people, they have to be worked up all the time. I believe many times, they believe it's all real, where a lot of it we could say that's drama, that's overreaction, that's this. However, if you are in a constant state of stress, your body thinks it's real and it's not going away, and that leads to other challenges. Some we've already named, health problems, you can't sleep, all of these things. One of the biggest things, and I talk about it a lot, I almost preach about this one, is regret. Maybe you regret a conversation, some words that you said, a mistake that you made, a choice that you made, all the what-ifs. Maybe it's something that you didn't do that you should have. Regret is an exponential waste of time and it steals your joy. I can go off right now. Regret causes and is heavy. Heavy. And some of these are good reasons for heaviness. Some people just care too much. The problem is they care too much about things they can't control. It's tough. I remember my parents, I've said this before, when my grandfather died, Papo, when he passed, my mom got a little bit of money, and uh they wanted to invest it. They wanted a return on this money. And so they put it in an index account. But she looked at it every day, sometimes several times a day. And if it went down, she cared about that money so much because it came from Popo. His long life of hard work and all that. She cared more about Popo's memory in that money than the money itself, but she wanted to be a good steward of that. And every day it was down, that affected her whole day. It affected her whole psyche. That was a heaviness. And so we had to do something about that. My goodness, that was phones ringing off the hook. Phones used to be on a hook. But other things, worried about caring too much or worrying about politics or other people or the past, which you can do nothing about. The weather, it's tough. It's heavy, and it affects the rest of your life and the people around you. And eventually, I think people, and I've seen it happen, and it's a hard thing to watch, but when people lose their hope, that's probably the heaviest burden of all. Hope is if you don't have it, I can see people. What's the use? You've got to build hope. I've got one coming up on that, and I'm pretty excited about that one because there's hope. If you lose hope, you need help finding it many times because you can't see it. So we'll talk more about hope. So those are just 10 things. There's no surprises there. However, each one has a degree of heaviness that affects their productivity. So I think there's some things that we need to remember when heaviness comes, or it's a season, or it can be a morning. Whatever. M-O-R-N-I-N-G, not M-O-U-R. I'm not spelling for you, good Lord. It's my accent. I'm hanging around somebody recently who doesn't have an accent. Now they do. I love it. Over there and whale and all these. She talks so funny. Anyway, there's some things that I would love, and I have to remind myself to remember when things get heavy. And please email me with things that you do or things that you remember that will maintain your hope or spark new hope. First thing is feelings aren't facts. Feelings aren't facts. That mood, that sense of heaviness, or that that up you're upset or dramatic or whatever you want about something because it makes you feel a certain way. You may read things into something. You may have heard something that bothers you. The way you feel about it, that's not exact, that's not a fact. And many times we get stirred up emotionally about possibilities. Possibilities aren't facts. So remember that. Feelings aren't facts. A bad day is not a bad life. A bad day is not a bad life. I I've heard it a couple of times recently where people have said, My life sucks, or this job sucks. All right, let's talk about that. Let's get a little more specific. What is it about this job or your life? Okay, it's usually temporary or a part of it. I know when you hurt your little finger, your whole body is affected, but let's deal with that little finger. Bad days aren't bad lives. Every season eventually changes. I am I am no fan of the winter. I know I love I love snow. I do that. I don't like to be in it more for more than five minutes. I like to look at it out there when I'm in here warm by a fire. I'm in the desert. I'm not, I don't have a fire. I'm talking about going to the mountains. Skiing. Oh, I used to love to ski. Now I'll sit in the lodge and drink some cocoa and watch you guys just have a great time. The winter to me, it first of all, the cold manifests itself in me physically. But I like the sun. I know, David, the sun shines in the winter. It's not the same. I need the sun. I need green. I need a beach. I need warm weather. And so between I'll say early November and February, even in the desert, it's too cold for me. The wind, it's horrible. It's cold. You know what gets me through? It's July right now, and I love it. What gets me through is thinking about oh, how many days? It's just March. Just a couple of more weeks, just a couple of more months, and it's worth it all. But this is just a season. Fact of life. It's gonna happen. And the bad thing with me, I know it's coming. I know it's coming. But every season eventually changes. That season of loneliness, that season of pain, of financial woes, of I can't find a job, or this job is not what I thought it would be, or a relationship is struggling, whatever. This season, every season, eventually changes. Eventually changes. Another thing, a lot of people don't take care of themselves during heavy periods. They don't rest. Now, trust me, I want you to move, get up and go, and we'll talk more about that. But some people feel like if they take care of themselves, if their health is a problem, whatever it is, they don't rest. You gotta understand, rest isn't quitting. No one preaches about quitting more than me. Don't ever quit. You can stop, but don't quit. Rest, taking care of yourself isn't quitting. That's okay. Another thing that was tough for me to learn, and I learned the hard way asking for help is not weakness. Asking for help is strength. It takes a strong person to do that. And I'll tell you, the people or the resources whom you ask for help, they recognize that strength. I have some relationships that for years I was the strong one in air quotes. If you're not watching the video, I was the strong one. I listened. I would, if they needed advice, I would cautiously give it. But I was there, I needed them in the last year. And when I asked for help, they gave it to me. But they recognized, wow. Not only did they they didn't see it as payback, they thought, oh, I need to help this guy. He's asking for he's asking for help. He must really need it. And it was fantastic. Also, we can look at everything, every season, every heaviness, every loss, every bit of bad news we've ever had, and we're still here. We've survived everything before, and we're still here. That should give us hope. That alone should give us hope. And another thing, we don't a lot of times we don't feel like we're making any progress. It's just the same. I'm not getting my it's not any better. Progress is not always dramatic. As a matter of fact, it's rarely dramatic. It builds on itself. A brick by itself is nothing. You get enough of them in a skilled craftsman, you can get a wall real quick. But one brick is not dramatic. Another thing, then I said this earlier on um, I think it was on the last podcast, about your circumstances are not your identity. No, you're feeling them right now. Maybe you're unemployed, that's not your label. Maybe you're divorced, that's not who you are. Alone, that's not who you are. No, your identity isn't your circumstances. Remember that. This is just a heavy period, and you're gonna get through it. You will. Comparison. And within today's social media and just society and human nature now, comparison makes heavy seasons so much heavier because you're looking at someone else's highlight reel. I'm struggling financially. I'm struggling with employment, I'm struggling with relationships, and Joe's got a great job, a brand new car, and look at his wife. Dear God. No, that's not their identity either. Their heavy seasons, they're not showcasing them like you're feeling yours. Yeah. And sometimes your job, and I'm not talking about your vocation, but on heavy times, heavy periods, heavy days, sometimes your job is just making it. To tomorrow. I can remember many days where it's, oh man, so much. And then one thing gets better and everything seems better. The next day, this isn't a problem. Those other problems don't seem quite so heavy either. And you work through it. Sometimes just getting through today is the key. But the thing is, when we're in heavy periods, there are there are lies that the heaviness that the burden tells us. In the one line I referred to it earlier, it's always going to be this way. We talked about stress, the body eventually. If you've got chronic regular stress, the body thinks it's never going away. When we're in the throes of this, if of a heavy period, the lie is, hey, this is a new normal. Yeah. Okay. This is just this is my life now. Don't believe it. It's a lie. We'll talk about how to get out of that in a minute. The second one, the second lie that I want to talk about is everybody else has got things figured out. Look, I'm the only one struggling with this. What's wrong with What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Here's the dirty little secret. Get close here. No one has it figured out. Nobody. Some people are just better at hiding it. They're not showing their heaviness. I'm telling you, I got real good at faking it till I make it. Yeah. People had no idea what I was going through at different points. Yeah. And that's I'm proud of that. I don't want to be a burden to someone else. But trust me, nobody's got it all figured out. They're on a high when you're on a low. Or maybe they're hiding their low. There's a lot of prepositions in there. Third lie. I should be stronger. I should be stronger. I should be able to handle this better. Why am I so weak that this is happening? Maybe you should be stronger. I don't know. Or maybe you've simply been carrying too much for too long. That could be it. Both the things. Too much and for too long. It wears you down. You're a lot stronger from carrying all that. Now we need to use that. We need to use that strength and put some things down. The fourth lie, similar to the first one, but it's not that it will always be this way. No, this one is I'll never be happy again. That could be a relationship thing. That could be, I don't know, a loss of a loved one. I'll never be happy again. You will. You will. You gotta wanna be. But you will. This is a season, and every season passes. Your brain simply can't imagine tomorrow with you hurting the way you do today. And part of that hurt is necessary. Feel it. You can't get you can't get through it till you get in it. So feel that so you can deal with it and get through it. And tomorrow that might be the second thing you think about instead of the first. And then the last one, and this I could talk about this for quite a while. Sometimes it's necessary to have be time alone. The thing is, the lie is I'm all alone. And you can talk about alone from several different ways. You can be in a room full of people and be alone, but you're probably surrounded by people who have walked through something remarkably similar. And that goes back to some things you do is ask for help. That's a show of strength. Some people choose to be alone. I was alone for a while by choice, and it helped me, and it was fantastic. I wasn't lonely because I had friends everywhere, but I needed to deal with some things on my own so that I could ask for help. And then when I did, I realized I could have used this a month ago. So ask for help. That's the importance of building that circle that I talk about all the time. I'm gonna have a sip of coffee. Why don't you grab one too? My kids hate it when I do that. So let's talk about another thing. How do we make things lighter when things are heavy? What do you do? You have any tricks? You got any go-tos, any triggers? I love triggers. I love them. Let's talk about some ways to make things lighter because it doesn't mean pretending that the problem is not there. It just shaving off the unnecessary weight. How about that? I believe there's humor in everything, and I don't laugh through my problems. I laugh with my problems. Sometimes my laughter is a problem. How about that? But let's talk about it. Let's use that analogy of putting down what doesn't belong to you. First of all, you're carrying the weight of other people's struggles. You care, yeah. But there's nothing you can do about that. Maybe it's maybe it's other people's opinions that's weighing you down, or their expectations, or their choices, or their happiness. You're that's not your problem. Their mistakes aren't your problem. Don't is don't lend them money. That's one thing you can do, but not everything belongs on your back or in your backpack. So you can take those. And there's whole processes for that. I've covered that before, but I can cover it again. How do you put that down? That's what you need to do. Stop carrying the weight of the world, especially when you can do nothing about it. That makes things lighter. And all of this really goes under the heading of unpack all of your all of things that are bothering you. All of them. And be specific about what's bothering you most or what's troubling you most. It's gonna be a lot fewer. That's the whole getting to a good place process. Specifics will push away drama or things that aren't yours or things that you can't do anything back. And carrying other people's whatever problems, opinions, mistakes, expectations, putting those down, whoo, your load is lighter. Now you can focus more on the things that are really bothering you. So another way to make it lighter is simplify everything. Heavy seasons require a little simpler living. We can be specific here. I'll go back from experience. I didn't I ate simpler. I didn't spend a lot of time doing sophisticated meals or dishes or menus or whatever. I ate simpler. I cut a lot of things out of my schedule that was just busy work. I started saying no a lot more often. And then some of these expectations, these grand expectations for down the road, I lowered some of the ones by looking at okay, what's today, what's tomorrow, what's this week instead of next month, next quarter, next year. That made things a lot lighter. Because all of this is part of protecting your peace. And sometimes it's hard to find your peace. But when you do, oh, you gotta protect it. You gotta guard it. It's precious. Hold on, because it may be just a little piece of piece right now. And then during some heavy seasons, success is just survival. Now I'm not being dramatic here at all. I talked about just get to tomorrow. I have had days where let's just get to lunch. Let's just get to dinner. If I can just finish this and just get to bed tonight, tomorrow. And a lot of the heaviness is built into today. So tomorrow, it is, if you execute tomorrow, it is gone. It can be that big presentation at work, that big test at school, the medical procedure. That's going to be over, but you still have oh, the anxiety and the dread and all of these things. Many times it's just the survival. You want me to talk about my colonoscopy? I will. It was glorious, by the way. My vasectomy, I can talk about that at length. I was anxious. It was heavy. It was about survival. Sometimes that's it. Just get through today. Another thing, it's a twist on it. Remember, we're talking about ways to make things lighter? Ask for help earlier. Now you can't ask for help earlier the last time. You can the next time. Just like I said, I needed time alone. And then when I asked for help, it was great. It was there all along. And I wish I'd asked for it earlier. That let me tell you something. Your pride is just as heavy or heavier than your problem. Your community, your circle, it's lighter. It will help you carry the load. And no, they're not giving awards out for suffering alone. There's no prize there. You brag about that. What's wrong with you, man? I've done things, I moved my entire house by myself. Not the house, but the contents. You know what I mean. I hear you. Stop it. And partly because I didn't want to ask for help, partly because I could do it quicker. All these stupid reasons. And it took me almost a year to recover. And so when I would tell people, yeah, my arms and my back, oh, it's from when I moved. Why didn't you ask for help? Shut up. I want a trophy. I want a plaque. They don't hand those out. Strong people ask. Weak people pretend. Okay, I think I've covered that one. Another thing, and this is key. This is key. Let me tell you. Find something that makes you laugh every day. How much have how much is humor a part of your life? It is. I think I referred to it earlier. It is a load-bearing wall for me. Humor doesn't erase the pain. A lot of times it'll interrupt it a little bit though. It'll definitely lighten it for a minute. Sometimes, but see, sometimes they say laughter is the best medicine. Some people see that disguised as stupidity or avoiding the problem. No. No. I'd definitely say it's a coping mechanism. It's medicine. It's structural. Watch something funny. Text somebody about a funny thing that happened. Call them. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at yourself. Life is already serious enough. I'm home alone a lot. I'm home alone right now. Matter of fact. Home alone. I go straight to the movie. Even when I say it and I don't mean it that way. Anyway, even home alone. Oh, I may go to the restroom and close the door. I'm the only one here. I'm sitting in there laughing out loud at reels.

unknown 33:20

Yeah.

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Oh, the people, if there is anybody in the house, I'm going to do it anyway. You okay in there? What's so funny? What did you do? See, that's funny to me. I'll also order some stuff. Who knows? Who knows what's going to happen? Find something that makes you laugh every day. I've got friends, and I'll tell you, people who have my number, if you can't find anything to laugh about, call me. I'll say something stupid that I've done, or make fun of you, or we'll talk till somebody, somebody's laughing, and then we'll both be laughing. I'm serious. I'm serious about laughter. So do that. That makes things lighter. Again, it doesn't erase the pain, but it can interrupt it. And then the last one I'll say the make things lighter when things get heavy is stop carrying tomorrow. It does two things. First of all, it wastes your time. Because tomorrow, you got to deal with tomorrow. It also takes away from you dealing with problems that deserve today's energy. All of that confusion, that angst casserole you've got going on. Today deserves that energy that's going to help you get till tomorrow. And tomorrow will bring its own problems. Trust me, it's like the mail, it just keeps coming. But you don't get bonus points. You don't get extra credit for trying to solve tomorrow's problems. Yeah, you may think you have it all figured out, but it's going to have nuances on its own that you need the energy for tomorrow. Don't use today's energy on tomorrow's problems. It's important. It's important. So several things about challenges, and I don't mean to be too philosophical, but these a lot of challenges, they're needed. They're needed because it builds strength, it builds resilience, it builds resolve. It helps other people when you can counsel them or when they can observe how you handle things. It does. And I know that's a little Pollyanna. It does. And you need them. You need to know how tough you are. You need to know what you can stand. I always talked about. I've had jobs that I remember one particular one, they wouldn't hire people, they would just put more on your plate and they would get you to your breaking point to see how much you could take. And it wasn't being mean, it was development. It was developed. Same thing in college. The professors that were the toughest on me, I learned the most. So there are some ways to embrace heaviness, embrace difficult seasons. First of all, you gotta accept the fact that life comes in seasons. It's not always great. I think we know that by now, don't we? Winter, as much as I don't like it, it's coming. But a winter, anecdotally, that doesn't mean failure. A tough time doesn't mean you necessarily did something wrong and this is payback. No, it's just part of the cycle. So look for the lessons in these things instead of the punishment. Because both are real. Both are real. So a few things. How do you embrace these seasons? First of all, keep moving. Keep moving. We talked about progress being hard to measure and it's usually not dramatic. Even slow movement counts. That to-do list, get up, get on it. Getting up is movement. For me, it's simple things. I told you about my dad, he's 80, he was 86, and still, until he got to where he couldn't, it was long past I thought he physically couldn't, but when he went into a facility, he couldn't do this. But the last day he got up at home, he made his bed. I would see him in there on the camera. He couldn't walk without a walker, but he made that bed. He wasn't in the military, but he could have passed inspection, I promise you. So some of the little things to as far as keep moving, little things I do, and I'm not asking for kudos here, but a couple of things. I get up and make my bed now. I look back and yeah, okay. I started the day with something little. I do that. And there's a whole thing about making your bed. I didn't do that because of Jordan Peterson or anybody else. I did it because of my dad can do it, I can do it. And I don't have to come into a messy bed later. And it's just that movement. I got up and I did something. An action item, check, and creates momentum. But keep moving. Another thing, stay connected. Stay connected. It's embracing these difficult times. I'm going to stay connected to my circle, to my friends, to my family. I've got the weight of the world on me, but I'm going to sit down and read a story to my kid. It would be weird now because they're 36 and 33, but it's better than laying on the floor and coloring with them. I'm glad my kids don't listen to this. They'd be rolling their eyes right now. But stay connected. Isolation will magnify your pain. Stay connected to friends, family, your circle, a coworker, a priest, whatever. Another thing, we talked about the worst being losing hope. You have to keep hope alive. Keep hope alive. Oh, I'm gonna preach again. Hope is not pretending. Hope is choosing to believe today's chapter is not the last one. It may be at the beginning of the book, the middle of the book, toward the end, but it's not the end. That next chapter is coming. That next tomorrow is coming. Later today is coming. Have stuff to look forward to. Have people to look forward to. You have to keep hope alive, and it's real hope. Believe it. Believe it. A good circle will help keep your hope alive. So there are several things there to embrace or to do during the tough times. And so many times you've got peaks and valleys and peaks and valleys. I like to keep the peaks high. A lot of people like to tap it down. The peaks not so high and the lows not so low, and sales forecasting. You don't want to have to outdo what you did last year, so don't grow too much. I hate that way of thinking, by the way. A lot of unsuccessful companies. That's what caused that. But that's another O talk. I want to talk about five ways to make the peaks higher and the valleys less deep. How about that? That's a nice chart for you. First thing is celebrate. Celebrate, celebrate. Celebrate small wins. Don't wait for the huge victories. Life happens every day. Celebrate it. What happened today? Tell me about it. I look for things to celebrate. I can remember in my marriage, just some of the little things. We would, okay, let's celebrate tonight. Recently there was one of the best. This is a big one. One of the best words in the English language. Benign. That's worth a big celebration. Sometimes passing a driver's test, not getting a ticket. How about that? So let's celebrate. Small wins. Celebrate them all. And it doesn't have to be a full-on party. It could be. You celebrate them, you acknowledge them. A card. I remember years ago, back when we had voicemail. I had a group voicemail for my people. And every Friday I would say, I would leave the voicemail, woo, Friday, woo! That's all I would do. Friday's here. Yay! Hoop and holler. So when I left, a big dog came in and was talking about who's going to replace me and all these things. And they were morale was high and everything was great. Cells were to the roof. It was fantastic. And they would say, What did David do? Did you want us to continue? And one of the probably shyest, most introverted people on my team, they said other things, but this shy person raised their hand and said, Can we still have the Friday voicemails? That's all I said. Friday. Woo! Celebrating a Friday. That meant that much to that person. And everybody's going, Yeah, yeah, those are good.

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Find something to celebrate. Another thing, practice gratitude before happiness. Think about that one. Practice gratitude before happiness. Gratitude creates happiness more often than happiness creates gratitude. Think about what you got. Do some inventory. The things you're grateful for. I am woefully behind in my gratitude post. I'll make a commitment right now. I'll start getting those going again, at least weekly. Pointing out three things right now can be so small. It can be so small, but lift you. So practice gratitude before happiness. That's a way to make the peaks higher and the valleys less deep. Invest in relationships. The strongest people are rarely the ones with the easiest lives. So true. And it takes some of those relationships, it takes getting closer in a bond to Realize that. But it's true. And it's also true for you. Because the ones with the strongest relationships, they don't have the easiest lives, but also they have the strongest support system that makes them able to handle the weight. One of the main things as far as making the peaks higher and the valleys less low, you gotta protect your health, your physical health. We can talk mental health. I'm really not qualified for that. I prove that on a daily basis. Your physical health. If you're not sleeping well, we need to focus on that. If you're not moving, if you're not getting exercise, are you drinking enough water? Are you eating good food? I eat bad food too, but I eat good food as well. Yeah. Your mind rides inside your body. So you need to think about your physical health as part of your mental health. You've got to take care of both. That's gonna help you. A crazy ride, when the ride gets great and you're on these peaks, if your health is not good, it's gonna pull you down. So that's important. And then there's a lot to be said for building a life that's bigger than today's problems. And what I mean by that is a purpose. Having a purpose. And whatever your purpose is, I have several that I keep in mind. Loving my family, just a joy for life, helping people, all these things, it's gonna sound self-serving here. But that purpose will shrink pain. It's almost a drama detector. That's not worth my time. You'll learn to say no to that. The pain doesn't disappear, but something is bigger than that right now. I saw a thing recently, it was a documentary on Rafael Nadal, the tennis player. I wasn't a big fan, honestly, because I like Federer and some of the others. But I saw a documentary on him, and he had so many chronic injuries. He could play with them, and he played very well. He won more majors than anybody at one time. But he fought through chronic foot pain, had a disease that was very rare, and all these little things I didn't know about. I played, I've been an athlete, I've played through pain before, but his purpose was so much bigger than that pain that fighting through it, delivering, it was worth it. So build a life bigger than today's problems. There's a few things there that will make the peaks higher and the valleys less low. But there's something remarkable that happens when we get older. I've seen it, now I'm doing it. We begin collecting evidence that we have survived. Could be a diagnosis, could be a divorce, could be a layoff, could be a funeral, a betrayal, abandonment, or any kind of disappointment. The season that we thought would never end. You get older, you've been through a lot of seasons, and we're still here. We still here. Here we are. Maybe a little, got a few scars, maybe a little wiser, but we're still here. Experience teaches us something that youth rarely can. Most storms don't last forever. I remember when I was young, I was scared of the thunderstorms. Boom! In the south, the crashing thunderstorms. And I remember my mom saying, uh, it'll be over in a minute. It'll be over in a minute. And eventually it was. Well, also, storms don't last forever, but neither do the emotions they create. That doesn't make today's burdens any lighter, but it does remind us that today's burden or burdens, they're not permanent. Heavy seasons don't mean you're weak. They don't mean you've failed. Sometimes they simply mean you're carrying something important. This is important. And when life gets heavy, slow down, ask for help, laugh often, and rest without guilt. Never make a permanent decision based on temporary emotions. A lot of people make that mistake. And one day you'll tell the story that the story that, hey, you barely survived. Someone else is gonna borrow your courage because you made it. That's how hope works. And hope is very important. Not because life gets easier, because people get stronger. So if today feels heavy, carry what you can. That's important, it makes you stronger. Also, set down what you don't have to carry. Rest when you need to. Then stand up tomorrow and take another step. Because one day, without realizing exactly when it happened, the weight lifts. It begins to lift. The laughter returns to normal. The music sounds beautiful again. You start enjoying it. Food tastes better. You enjoy the sunsets. Oh, they're so much more colorful. Wow. And you're gonna be surprised by your own smile. And then you're gonna realize something very profound. You were never being buried, you were being built. The storm wasn't the end of your story, it was the chapter that revealed who you were becoming the whole time. It's gonna happen. So until then, keep walking. We're all carrying something. And none of us has to carry it along. Because the strongest people aren't the ones who never feel the weight. They're the ones who learn to carry it. They learned what to set down, and they learned who to invite to help them carry it. Okay. Whew, I feel better. Do you? We all carry it. Sometimes it's heavier than others. That's why we're getting stronger. All right. Tell me what you think. Hit me up. Questions, comments, accolades. Oh David at Otalks.com, David at Otalks.com, or just go to Otalks.com, you'll find out how to get a hold of me. Let me know what you think. I appreciate it. I appreciate you so much. Appreciate the support. Thanks for hanging out. Thanks for hanging on. But most of all, thanks for O talking with Dave. Giddy up.