What I'd Tell 30 Year Old ME...

Have you ever wished you could give advice to your younger self to make things easier?  Yeah, me too...

Your 30s feel like you’re finally getting traction and at the exact same time, like the ground is moving under your feet.

You’re building a life while living it, raising kids while still figuring yourself out, making money while learning what money actually means, and choosing people, paths, and priorities that will echo for decades.

Join Dave for some pre-O'talkin wisdom about:

• 30 strongest, tightest, no-fluff takeaways 
• 5 Ways to Embrace It
• 5 Real Challenges
• 5 Ways to Hold Steady

You’re going to get some things wrong. You’re going to trust the wrong people.  You’re going to take paths that don’t pay off.

Good - That means you’re in the game.

The goal isn’t perfection.  It’s alignment.

Freedom in how you live. Control in how you respond. Resolve in how you continue.

If I could hand you anything at 30, it wouldn’t be money, connections, or shortcuts. It would be a calm mind, a clear set of values, and the confidence to trust your own decisions.

You’re not trying to get it all right.

You’re trying to build something real.

Now go do it!!!

Giddyup!!!

Email David@Otalks.com or OWD@Otalks.com for comments, questions, or ideas for content on an upcoming O'talkin' with Dave podcast.  Otalks.com

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to O'Talkin' with Dave. Coming to you from his fortress in Sin City. Put your hands together for the pastor of positivity whose glass is always at least half full. Here's Dave.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

Hey, how are we doing out there? I hope you're great. I am top shelf myself and ready to go. Ready to go. I'm a little nostalgic. I don't know why. I've been around some old friends lately and reconnected with some family I hadn't seen in a bit. And it's funny to see nieces and nephews and um kids that were small, like friends. My friends, uh a lot of their kids hung around me when they were really young, and I see them recently. And my goodness, when did you're almost as tall as me? And so you see you go online and people's kids and grandkids. I've got a lot of friends who have grandkids that are what? I'm too young to be that age. I don't have any yet. Whatever. There's pros and cons there. But when I think about it, it seems like yesterday I was 30 years old. And I'm not going to get nostalgic to the point of where I know it all and time flies and embrace every day and all. Eh, we know that. But I got to thinking. I saw some pictures. I went through and cut a lot of pictures that needed to be cut. I needed better friends back at certain times in my life. I can't believe there's photographic evidence of some of my fashion and hair choices. But I was thinking, what if I were to talk to myself? And I got a son who's 36, and I've told him a lot of this, but I don't know if I have or not. So if I were to have a grandson that's 30 years old, I'm 61, what would I tell him? What would I tell him? And I thought, okay, what I do lists of 10 things. That's 10's not enough. Are you kidding me? To narrow it down to 10 is kind of tough. And I went to 20. I'm thinking, ESPN 30 on 30. Let's do that. So we're going to talk today 30 things I would tell 30-year-old me. And they're going to sound familiar. There's nothing earth-shattering here. It's a lot of O'Connor logic, common sense. Eh, not so common anymore. But with your 30s, you feel like you're starting to get some traction. You start to fight for a career. Maybe you're settling down to get a family or get married. And at the exact same time, the ground is moving under your feet. Nothing is for sure. And that's a good time. You're building a life while you're living it. You're changing the tire on the truck as it's rolling down the highway.

unknown 2:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Still figuring it out. You may have kids, you may not. I did. My goodness, when I was 30, I had two kids, a mortgage, an ulcer, a couple of migraines, and a steaming pile that I was trying to manage. But I started to make a little bit of money. I learned a little about this and that. But at 30, I wish I had heard some of the things that I would have told myself. It's exciting. It's heavy. It's messy. But if you're honest, it's one of those, it's just part of figuring it out. So let's just get straight to it. Don't worry, I'm not going to do five minutes on each one. Chill. You're not going to burn the roast. So third, here are the 30, I'm going to say strongest, tightest, no fluff takeaways, I would tell myself, whether I listen or not. So number one, you got to get to a good place. What does that mean? A calm mind will help you make better decisions every time. Don't make decisions out of emotion. Where are you? Let's just you got to get to a good place first. And part of that is knowing where you are. Don't make emotional, quick decisions that's going to affect you long term. Homework, play, finances, relationships, all of the above. Okay? Number two, freedom isn't doing whatever you want. My Popo told me if you can provide for your family, you got a choice between two jobs, take the one that gives you the most freedom. Now he meant freedom in a different way than I heard it. It's not doing whatever you want whenever you want. It's not being owned by what you don't want. Debt, emotion, drama, habit, a bad legacy. Maybe you have something in your family that's negative. Don't let that control you. Freedom is not being owned by what you don't want. That's pretty complex for a 30-year-old. I didn't get it then. I didn't get it. Of course, I could say control and resolve behind that, but it starts with freedom. Okay? Number three, control your inputs. Now, when I was 30, that was a little easier than it is now. I mean, when I was, goodness, when I was single digits, we had three channels and then cable and then MTV hit and my whole life exploded into glory. We didn't watch that much TV. Internet didn't come along until I was older than 30. Can you believe that? Control your inputs. Your life follows what you consume. Now, the most raunchy thing me and John did was probably find an old skin mag at some point. We had to keep it in a very secret location. Now look at all the things people have. Of course I didn't look at it. We had it for the articles, and I'd read it to John and he would tell me what he thought. Literary endeavor. Control your inputs. Your life will follow what you consume. Information, food, negativity, misery, all of those things. Be careful what you consume. All right, it's enough about that before I say some stuff I shouldn't. That ship is sailed. Number four, resolve beats talent. Every time. Every time. The one who stays wins. Now, you may lose a you may you lose a match, you may lose a game, you may lose an encounter. The one who stays wins. You'll get better. You'll learn from defeat. You'll learn how to lose gracefully, and you'll learn what not to do. Resolve beats talent. Every time eventually. Hang in there. Don't quit. 30-year-old me. I was competitive, and I wasn't as tough as I should have been. Okay. Number five, pick your inner circle carefully. Now at 30, your inner circle has changed, will change. Yada yada yada. I know a lot of people who still live in the same place, same neighborhood, same people when they were 30. Okay. I moved every five years for a lot of my life. Across the country, back and forth, zigzag. But your inner circle will shape your future. It's almost like inputs, only more specific to people. Because they will be, if you choose them correctly, they will be with you through thick and thin and thick. If you don't choose wisely, they will make it thick and abandon you. Be careful. Pick your inner circle carefully. Now you can have concentric circles. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. We talk about this a lot. Number six, not everyone close to you is for you. Ties to number five a little bit. We just did an O talk on friendly fire. Yeah. And I'm not talking about inner circle now. I'm talking about people around you, friends of a friend, wife of a friend, husband of a friend. There's a lot of fakers out there. And the hardest, hardest, most brutal truth is friendly fire is real. I think in that one we talked about how getting stabbed in the back is tough, but the toughest part is turning around and look who's holding the knife. And not everyone that's close to you is for you. You'll learn. Boy, will you learn. Okay? Huge number seven. Be present at home. Your family need you. They don't need your highlight reel. They don't need your post. They don't need to for an introduction, you come in, you take applause, and then you go to the back room. You go to the, you go to the golf course, you go to the your recliner, you go to your man cave. Yeah, that can happen from time to time. Your kids need you. Your wife, your partner, your whatever. Then again, I'm telling you, I got a lot of roommates that are, to goodness, they're close to my age, and they're not married at this time, but they have roommates, and that's almost the same thing. When you're with them, you're roommates for a reason, unless it's just a situation that's set up to cheapen how much you have to pay a month. But home can be you're out going to visit your parents, visiting family outside of your immediate family. They need you. They need who you are, they need to hear about your day. They need to tell you about their day without you responding with, that's nothing. You should have been blah, blah, blah. Be present. I'm doing some things and I'm working on the list. I am combating my phone. And I'm doing some things. So I'm going to list that. The reason I'm doing that, I live alone. I'm with people a lot, but I'm doing this so that I can be present in that moment. And more to come on that. A little teaser, but be present at home for your dog. Okay? Number eight, and this is subtle, but it's true. Solve hard problems at work. Solve hard problems at work. That's where value and money live. Don't just go along, don't just punch a clock, don't go with the flow. What are the toughest problems at work? No matter what it is, no matter what your job is. From CEO to salesman to laborer to road crew. What's the hardest thing here? Be the one to make it easier, make it better, make it more efficient. That's gonna be noticed. And you're gonna be valued. And if they decide to cut people, no, you brought value. If they decide to give money, ah, you brought value. If they decide to promote somebody and that's what you want, you solved the hard problems. People notice that. Do it. Don't take the easy way out. Don't get away with the least you can do. Or you'll get away with the least they'll give. Okay? So talking about money, number nine, money is a tool. It's just a tool. Use it to build freedom, not approval. Don't be flashing it around as look what I've got. No. Money is a tool to give you freedom later on. And remember, freedom is not doing anything you want whenever you want. It's not being controlled by the things you don't want. So it's a tool. It's not the answer. Probably going to be more on that one. Okay, number 10, rounding out the top 10, and these are in no particular order. Avoid lifestyle creep. In a lot of jobs and companies I've been around, you get scope creep, whether it's a project, whether it's a job description, uh conversation, it just creeps into other stuff, and before you know it, it's out of hand. Lifestyle creep is important in that every upgrade you make quietly owns you. And you get caught up in what's next. And you don't enjoy what you have because you're looking for the next thing. Much be present at home. Enjoy every upgrade, but understand you're enjoying it for what it brings and for what it builds inside you rather than it's accomplished, let's go on. Otherwise, it will own you. And lifestyle, whether it's a fast car or membership to a club or acceptance in a certain area or $2,000 suits or maybe it's just a G.I. Joe with the kung fu grip. Lifestyle creep happens when, oh, that's good. You get used to this. Okay, what's next? And before long, things don't matter as much as excelling and increasing your lifestyle. Yeah, for what it's worth. I had I went through that. I'm over it now, but it can grab you, it can be all-consuming. All right, outside the top 10, number 11. Focus beats time. Scattered energy gets scattered results. Sounds like multitasking, but I promised I wouldn't say multitasking. It is. What you focus on gets better. What you focus on gets noticed. Relationship, time with a person, time with your kids, time with anybody, time with an older person. Oh, spend time with them and listen to them. It's quality over quantity. So focus beats time. Give me five undivided minutes over an hour of scattered one-upsmanship, please. Focus beats time. Homework and play. Okay? Third book, weeds. Number twelve, pull weeds early. Pull weeds early. Or they're gonna choke out what's important. And weeds will turn into resentment and regret and grow faster than you can control them, and they'll damage the plant. You can't separate the two. Pull them early. Why are they little sprigs? Remember Popo inspecting the hose? There's a sound bite for you. Pull weeds early. When you see them, pull them. Don't put up with them. They'll overtake your garden, your life. Okay? 13? Don't give away your power. If they control your mood, they control you. What's your mood? Anger? Jealousy? Impatience? Humility? A lack of humility? Arrogance? All that. If someone or something can control your mood, they control you, and you just handed your power, you're powerless. And it takes a lot longer to get that back. Because remember, you can't take power back. It has to be given. Alright? In that regard, number 14, own your decisions. Own it. Most mistakes were choices. It's a choice. Alright? I made a mistake. I learned from it. I'm not going to do it again. It's a decision. We got something coming up. Talking about intentional stuff. And it was a decision. It wasn't a mistake. All right. Most mistakes are choices. Own it. You will be revered by that. You will be looked up to if you own it rather than the blame game. Own your decisions. Hey. Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions. Poster child, right here. Okay, number 15. Oh, I wish somebody told me this and beat it into my head. Say no more often. I don't know how often you say it. Say no more often. That's a great guide. Every yes costs something. It costs freedom. It does. Sometimes you should say no to your kids. Say no to your boss. Say no to your friends. Say no to your wife. Say no to your husband. Yeah. Because every yes costs something and some degree of freedom. You can always go back and say yes later. You can't go back and say no most of the time. All right. Number 16, another big one. All these are a pig. What are you kidding me? Health is non-negotiable. 30-year-olds are mostly bulletproof, maybe less bulletproof than you were five years before. But everything else depends on your health. Everything. When I played sports, man, you could have a you could have a hangnail or an ingrown something, and it affects your whole game. If you can't get around your ability to earn, to socialize, to be there for your kids and your family and your friends, it is impaired. Physical injury, sickness, your longevity. Health is the basis of everything because when you lose that, you have nothing to give. Take care of your health. Move. Get up, walk, crawl. Don't, and I am hypocrite right here. There's a lot of things I could do better. Okay. All right. However, I am doing better and intend to keep doing better every day. I feel great. I started taking care of my skin. I decided I have so much skin. I was told recently I don't have a forehead. I have a seven head. And when the pain resulted, when I got over that emotionally, I realized with this much face, I better start taking care of my skin. So I'm doing that more now. Don't look at me. Okay. 17. Stop comparing. It's a losing game. And you it's a losing game and you don't get a prize, even if you try to win. Stop comparing. You're seeing everybody else's highlight reel, and you if you try to show yours, someone can always make themselves or their situation look better. That's a losing game. Stop comparing. Be happy. Take care of yourself. Be proud of yourself. Self-respect. Love people. Let them love you. Yeah. Don't compare. Okay. 18. Make time to play. Homework and play, I say it all the time. Play is the first one to get cut. Without joy, life becomes just maintenance, routine. You people wonder why they're burnt out. It's because you're so busy working and taking care of your responsibilities and your family and providing and oh you've got ball games and oh, God forbid your kids be good at sports the whole time. And then oh, it can you've got to take time for the family, for the home life, and for work. If you don't take time for yourself, both of those things are gonna fall apart and you're gonna end up resentful at the very things you chose above yourself. You've got to have something, you've got to have some joy. Otherwise, you're just working hard for the privilege of working harder. Take time to play. All right? Number 19. Gratitude is strategy. Yes, it's intentional. You need to do this, you need to focus. You need to spend time in the morning or at night or both. Three things I'm grateful for right now. I'm grateful for this bottle of water right now because my throat is raspy. There you go. Was that hard? No. What is this? Dasani. They're not a sponsor, but they could be. Gratitude. It trains your mind to see what's working. And there's always something. Just finished an old talk on love or hate, whatever you focus on, whatever you decide to focus on. Let's focus on gratitude because gratitude kills misery. You can't have the two at the same time. Gratitude teaches your mind to see what's working. Because if you don't tell your mind what to see, it will find. Something and it's usually negative 80% of the time. Okay, gratitude. You're grateful for that one. Everybody grateful for number 19. Giddy up. Number 20. This is coming up. By the time this comes out, you will have heard it. You're not behind. You're building. Most 30-year-olds, if they think they've got the world by the tail, they're just fooling themselves. They're not fooling anybody else. Most 30-year-olds feel behind. I didn't get my stuff together until I was 35. I was doing a hundred different things and doing 99 of them wrong. I was multitasking, I guess you could say. Not going to mention that though. By 35, I was okay. But at 30, man, I felt so far behind. I wasn't. I was building experience. I was building a skill set. I didn't have the skill set that took me where I needed to be. I was building it though. But I felt behind. I felt the pressure. 30-year-olds, you're not behind. You're building. There you go. 21. You ready? Discipline beats motivation. You're not always going to be motivated. This is a this is discipline is resolve's ugly, mean cousin. You don't feel like it. I don't feel like it today. Discipline will make me do it anyway. Discipline and that resolve, and then that gives me freedom and control when motivation is sitting over there smoking a cigarette. Do it anyway. All right, number 22. Don't confuse busy with progress. Don't confuse activity for productivity. Movement isn't momentum. Now I say move, and that's true. But busy, I remember we used to have people, I'm not going to name them, a couple of guys. I worked at a grocery store, and they were the busiest people I'd ever seen. They were always doing something, but they didn't get anything done. Busy work. They looked busy. I remember I used to go home and have to write sentences because I couldn't shut my mouth in class. And mom would just call that busy work. That's not teaching you a lesson. Well, she didn't know, is it? It hurt to write all those sentences. But it's true. I was busy, but it was not making progress. Movement isn't momentum. And so many times that's how it looks. It's the comparing game again. They look busy. Oh, they must be important. No. Number 23. This is tougher. High school me would have laughed at this. College me, eh, learn it a little more. 60-year-old me loves this. Protect your mornings. When early and when often. Do it in the morning. Sales is a morning game. I've been in industrial distribution most of my career. It's a morning game. Get up, get out, get on it. Now it's more a time for reflection. It gets my day started correctly because I don't have to hustle as much as I used to, more mentally than physically. But 30-year-olds, get out there. Get up, get out, get it done. There's a lot to be said for having successes over lunch. What have you already accomplished? It makes the afternoon much more productive when you've got out. When early, when often, get up and get out there. Early bird catches the worm. That's I think farmers came up with that, but my goodness, it's true. No matter what you do, protect your mornings. This next one took me forever. If I had captured this one at 30, I would be, I don't know. Who knows? I think I would probably have found peace a lot earlier. Get comfortable with silence. So busy, so loud, so many things, I couldn't hear the answers when they were being screamed at me. Silence is where clarity shows up. I don't care if you meditate, if you pray, if you just go for walks, chaos is ensuing. Silence is where clarity shows up. Get comfortable with silence. Okay. 25. Your reputation travels without you. Act like it. Act like it does. People notice. You can ruin your name, you can ruin trust, you can ruin all of those things. Okay, that travels without you as well. Hard worker. That Mr. Purdle walked. Old man, didn't even have a car, walked to church every Sunday morning. His reputation, you could set your watch by him. Rain or shine. That reputation travels without him. I'm talking about him now, and he passed away years and years ago. The people you know that you admire, are they with you? No. Maybe not. Maybe not right now. But their reputation is traveling with you. What about the opposite? What about those no good SOBs? Yep. Understand that at 30, and you're going to be better off. 26. Sales game in sales in life. If it's not a clear yes, it's a no. No maybes. A maybe is a no. It's a no. Whether you're hearing it or you're deciding it. So for you, if you need to do something, or you're asking yourselves, is this the way I should go? If it's not a clear yes, don't do it. Because indecision drains you. If it's a clear no, of course you don't do it. But a maybe, or we could probably make this work. Or you could throw hope in there and put a little flavoring in there. Still a no. Indecision. It will drain you and make you second guess yourself. Okay? Number 27. We're going through them. Comfort has a cost. And it's usually the degree of your success or the degree of your potential, the degree of your significance. It has a cost. You take a break now, it's going to catch up later. I learned this early on in manufacturing. There's a lot of things about manufacturing I didn't know. I got involved and we found that when our quotes, when our quote level fell, there was a three-month lag. We knew our closing rate, and if the quote level activity fell, unless our closing rate increased, then at some point the machine's going to quit running out there. Don't get comfortable because it's going good now. You got to eat tomorrow, too. And usually that comfort is so comfortable you don't want to leave it. And then it becomes an exponential problem. Get up early, go to work, get all you can. Don't be satisfied with what you have. Keep going. Because eventually you're going to need it. And that's a positive thing. That's not negative. 28. Build habits, not hopes. Yeah. Systems will win when willpower quits. So it was 93. I was 28. And I was a mess. And my health was bad. I was working 10 times harder than I should have. I was trying to find my way, had a wife, two kids, also managed to acquire ulcers and migraines. And I had to come up with a system. And at that time, it was 1993. That was the nucleus or the origin of this getting to a good place that I teach now. It's a process. And I had to go back to all right, I'm overwhelmed, cats in the rafters. What do I do here? Okay, you go through this process. When you're weary, when you're tired, when you may be on the low end of your hope meter, systems win when willpower quits. There are a lot of systems out there. This is why people are so important, especially old people. They can let you know what they do. You can depend on a system that works. If you've alcohol or drug abuse, there is a system. There is a system. There are systems out there that work when willpower won't. We can even go to churches and faith and religion or yoga, all these things. They're systems. Because they work, they're time tested. And when you're willing, you just don't feel like you can get it today. There's a system that will help you. Build habits, not hopes. I have uh I have routines that are tried and true. I love it. 29. Learn to leave. Learn to leave. Bad situations, they don't get better with time. I remember mom used to say, nothing good happens after midnight. Well, that's not always true. However, learn to leave. I gotta go. Bow out gracefully. Yeah, I'm sorry, I gotta leave. You'll be you'll be amazed at how people will let you leave. But a bad situation doesn't get better. It gets worse with time, and then you're involved. As a 30-year-old, learning to leave, that's almost learning to say no. But once you're involved, that's enough. Is a no. And then the last one I'll say. I could do a hundred. The last one I'll say is one focused year can change everything. Most people never commit to it. I can think of the year that changed everything for me. It was 2001. First day of my new position in Chattanooga, my first management position was on 9-11, 2001. Ring any bells? And I decided I'd move my family. Nobody moves out of my little area. That year, I went to a branch that was considered saturated. A lot of seasoned people. The market, there it's an industrial market that the mayor of Chattanooga decided his industry is going to be tourism. No, I mean, no. Come on, man. I need to sell parts, not tourism. I focused for that year. I got buy-in for people. We worked hard, had a great time with the family. Priorities were right, but I focused on growing this business and bonding with the family. That year changed everything for me. So it's true. One year can change everything. Commit to it. Have the resolve. Have the discipline. At 30, pick a year. I was 35. So I was a little late to the game. So that's 30. It's you can go 60, you can go 10, you can pick whatever. None of them are earth-shattering. I don't think you're surprised at any of them. But the thing is, how do you embrace this? How do you live it? That's the tough part. We know these, but what okay, what's different? And as a 30-year-old, sometimes you feel like you can take shortcuts and I'll just work harder. Okay, that's okay at times. But you got to be balanced in some way. So let's think about it. What are five ways you can actually live these 30 things? Run your day through home, work, and play mindset. Okay, so work-life balance gets overused, but just think about that three-legged stool of home, work, and play. One can be a little longer at times, one can be a little shorter at times, can be a little wobbly at times. Sometimes you have to spend more time at work. Sometimes you have to spend more time with the family. If you play too much, you're going to lose all of it. However, think about that. You can't take one leg off of a three-legged stool. So run your day, plan your time based on what's the right mix? What's the right mix? And you can have some help with that. Second thing, do a daily power check. By that power. Okay, where did I give power away today? Where did I, where was I controlled by something I should have been in control of? When did I lose my temper? When did I smart off to someone? When I was I impatient, when did I get angry when I should have asked a question? That's a great one. Remember, at 30, Lord have mercy. I was a lunatic. Very impatient. Not the patient man before you today. Okay, number three, make fewer but better decisions. Slow down. Slow down. My goodness. I used to make, oh, it was crazy. I know you've heard a lot of the stories. But slow down just enough to choose based on the purpose of it rather than all the things we talked about. Comparatives and how's this going to look? And is this going to be embarrassing? And can I say no to this? And should I leave? All of those. Make fewer but better decisions. And then my whole world is around. I get a lot of accolades for increasing margin or profit or value. So create margin in your life. Meaning, what's important? Time, money, energy, and how you create that of what you do, it returns in peace. Margin. Yeah, I did enough to get it done, and then I had extra. I was able to do this a little quicker, do it well, and because of that, I get to do more of that. And I can just repetition is going to make me quicker, which gives me more time, more freedom to choose what I want and not be controlled by things I don't want. Create margin in your life. And then it's harder at 30, but if you can develop the ability, and I can teach it, I can train it, I can show you all my crazy stories. Number five, practice recall and application. You've already got the lessons, you've learned them. Use them. Don't keep relearning them the hard way. And this is simple lessons. Things that your grandparents told you. When you failed, what did you learn from that? When you got your heart broken, what did you learn from that? When your friend did something crazy, you don't have to learn them all from your screw-ups. Recall and application. That's just like when this happened. That reminds me of this. That's recall. How do you apply it? That is one of the best skills to learn. Yeah. You're going to have challenges with this. I mean, if it was easy, anybody could do it. You got noise out there. Everyone has an opinion about your life. The whole compare. I just I didn't do it that way. My dad worked 36, 40 years of blue-collar work. He had no idea that I could do what I do for a living. That's okay. But other people are going to have an opinion about your life. That's just noise. That's just noise. And then you got pressure. You got social pressure, financial pressure, professional pressure, keeping up with the Joneses. And that can be outside or even inside your own home or definitely inside your head. Yeah, that's going to create challenges to accomplishing these things. And uh the I can't say enough about the comparison culture. It's it is instilled now, I would say teens, but maybe even earlier with social media. But one of the things it's other people's expectations. Just because it's, I know, four-generation doctors, three-generation lawyers, and I guess they're okay. Other people's expectations can't destroy your hopes and your dreams and your goals. Because if it does, then you're living their life, not yours. And so a lot of it's internal. Your ego. You want to be right. Sometimes being right is not effective, but it feels good, right? So your ego. Okay, that will eventually run its course, trust me. My ego at 30 was, it's a good thing I wasn't hyper-successful at 30 because my ego would have killed me. Also, you fear something that needs to be faced. However, the risk reward part of that. A lot of people will be afraid and they'll keep it small and simple just to be safe. That's not comfort zone's cousin right there. You can, but how fulfilled will you be? Are you going to teach your kids to just play it safe all the time? No, you got risk and reward. I'm not saying be a daredevil with everything. Be smart. But don't let fear keep you from doing the life you want to do. One I still struggle with is impatience. Wanting results before the work is done. So many things I'm so glad I didn't get when I wanted them and thought I deserved them because I would have destroyed them. So many things. Impatience. Hurry up. My microwave's not fast enough. Yeah. Wanting results before the work is done. And I think doubt is normal. Doubt ourselves. Is this really what I should be doing? Can I really accomplish this? The doubt that I had and still have from time to time. But questioning yourself when it gets hard is normal, that's where that resolve comes in. Don't quit. Don't quit. The inner circle, the people you trust. If they're encouraging you, get her done. And I think one of the biggest challenges to doing these things, especially in your 30s, you can call it a comfort zone, but a lot of it could just be called complacency. I'm doing okay. I'm doing all right. I'm doing as good as other people my age. I'm doing better than my dad did at my age. But settling when you should be stretching yourself. The more you stretch yourself in your 30s, the more success you're going to have in your 40s, and the better your 50s and 60s are going to be. Plus, everybody else is seeing that and they're learning from you. You don't do it for them, but you're right, you're raising the water. High water rises all ships. So it gets tough though. And what do you do when it gets tough? Because it gets tough a lot. First thing I remember going back and just being able to shrink that moment and not be specific. I talk about how you can't get a specific answer with a general question. You can't solve all your problems, so you have to break them down to specifically what's the source of this? Where is it coming from? Yeah. You can't solve your life, but you can solve today. And if not solve, you get to a better place. Yeah. Control what you can. Your attitude, your effort, you can control that. You can also control your next move. You can control everybody else, and that's why others' expectations of you. All right. Thanks for that. And then you go do what you know you should. Do the work. One thing that I didn't do well, that I would advise lean on your people. You got to choose your people wisely, but lean on them. They want to help you. But not everybody deserves access to that struggle. So I had some good people, but a lot of it, my ego wouldn't let me ask them because they think I'm successful. Oh, I don't want to do that. Everybody doesn't deserve to be a part of your struggle. So lean on the people, but choose them wisely. And then the fundamentals. In any sports, just about anything, go back to the fundamentals. Let's talk about the fundamentals of life. Sleep, eat right, move. That's going to help you think clearly. It's not complicated. Do the work. And then remember every part of this, especially in your 30s, this is not a landing spot here. It's a phase. It's part of the journey. It may be part of that drive you don't like. Yeah, but think of the where the what's over the hill. Where's the destination? Where's the part of the drive you do? Nothing stays stuck unless you stop. Or you quit. Don't quit. Yeah. You're going to get some things wrong. I'm talking to 30-year-old me now, and 30-year-old talking back to me would probably not take this as well. I got a lot wrong before and after 30. You're going to trust the wrong people. I have. I have. And you're going to take paths that don't pay off. I thought that was the right one. And uh, all right. Good. All that's good because it means you're in the game. You're not just sitting there. Wrong things, wrong people, wrong paths. You're in the game. Remember the goal is not perfection, it is alignment. Freedom in how you live. Control in how you respond. And resolve in how you continue. If you could, if I could hand you anything at 30, it wouldn't be money. Please don't give me money at 30. Connections. It's pretty well connected. I knew everybody in my hometown. I knew a few people outside. Or definitely wouldn't be shortcuts. No, they don't, that doesn't get you anywhere. It gets you somewhere, it gets you at the wrong, it gets you to the wrong place quickly, but not equipped. What I would give myself or my son or my daughter at 30, they're both past that now, is a calm mind, clear set of values, and the confidence to trust yourself. You've already done the work as far as your raising, rearing, your recall and application needs some work, but have confidence in yourself to where it's the right thing, and if it's not, I can overcome it. Life doesn't open up for that smartest person in the room. I'll tell you that. I've never been the smartest person in the room, but it opens up for the one who stays steady, stays grateful, and keeps moving forward intentionally. You're not going to get it all right. No. You're trying to build something real there. Now go get it. And let no one tell you no for an answer. Alright. 30 things for 30-year-old me. Woo! Had a lot more hair back then.

unknown 47:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:00

Fewer wrinkles. Yeah. But I am so happy. All right. Please let me know what you think. You can send me more. We can add to the list. We can get the top 100. We do whatever we need to do here. But let me know what you think about it. Hit me at david at o talks.com or davidotaks.com. Go to otalks.com. There's places you can get a hold of me. And I just appreciate everything in the support. I'll check and see how many countries and cities, not that means anything, but it's I think something's resonating here, and I appreciate the support. Thanks for hanging out. Thanks for hanging on. But most of all, thanks for O talking with sixty-one-year-old Dave. Diddy up.