You're NOT BEHIND

Have you ever found yourself in a funk or maybe just felt a little BEHIND where you think you should be?  Yeah, me too...

There’s a group of people out there right now, maybe you’re one of them, who are battling something, questioning everything, or a little overwhelmed.

It might not even that dramatic...just stuck in a quiet funk you can’t quite explain.

Join Dave for some plain talk about:

• You’re not behind - you’re just in the middle of your story.
• The Long Drive Analogy
• 5 Ways This Happens to Everyone
• 5 Reasons This Is Actually a GOOD Time
• 5 Ways to Move Through It
• 5 Lessons to Take With You

You’re not stuck. You’re not done. You’re not behind. You’re just in a stretch that doesn’t look impressive...yet.

So don’t quit on a chapter. Take the next step.  Make the next move. Drive the next mile. Because one day, you’re going to look back at this stretch and realize it wasn’t where you got lost...It’s where you found your way forward.

Giddyup!!!

Email David@Otalks.com or OWD@Otalks.com for comments, questions, or ideas for content on an upcoming O'talkin' with Dave podcast.  Otalks.com

Check out OtalksOfficial on Instagram and TikTok

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to O'Talkin' with Dave. Coming to you from his fortress in Sin City, put your hands together for the pastor of positivity whose glass is always at least half full. Here's Dave.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Hey, how are we doing out there? How y'all doing? I hope you're great. I am top shelf and ready to go. So let's just get right to it. What you say? What you say? So there's a group of people out there right now. Maybe you're one of them. That you're battling something. You're questioning everything. Maybe you're a little overwhelmed. It may not even be that dramatic, but you're just stuck in a like a funk that you can't quite explain. But you're stuck. Nothing's falling apart, necessarily, but nothing feels like it's moving forward. It's just ah you're a limbo. And then the thought sneaks in. I'm behind. Behind in life or behind in a career. You just feel like I'm not where I should be now. I'm I need to catch up. Let me give you something that's simple, but it's true. You're not behind. You're just in the the middle somewhere. I don't like to say journey, but we'll just say your story. You're not behind. Everybody goes through it. They're really the thing nobody talks about is 70 to 80% people report feeling stuck or unfulfilled at some point in their careers or in their life or in their family, or just get in a funk. And over 60% of adults say they've gone through extended periods of doubt or lack of direction. And that doesn't feel good. Not at all. And then the trends also point to major life satisfaction dips. And most often in your 40s, 50s, and early 60s at some point. So don't beat yourself up. You know, what you're feeling isn't rare. It's not personal failure, which it seems like some people, if they're not going at full speed, they feel like they're backing up. It's part of a process, it's life. And it doesn't feel good, but also what really doesn't feel good if you feel like you're behind or you're off track or you're misdirected or have no direction. Yeah. You're not off track. You're in the part where it's unclear. And that unclearness is uncomfortable. Yeah. And you're not impressive right now. You're not impressing yourself. But that's not where people fail. That's where things get built. So I want to talk about it. Just to put it in another analogy, think about a long drive. Maybe it's a I go from Las Vegas to San Diego most weekends. I'll say most weekends. And most of the time I drive. So I drive there and then I drive back. I'm used to that trip. However, there's there are parts of that trip I really like, part of it I don't. Sometimes the time passes very quickly. Sometimes I think I'll never get there. So think about it. Think about a long drive. You leave early, you're full of energy. Oh, you're ready to go. I'm excited about the trip. Early on, you're getting used to the road, you got your music on, maybe a snack. Yeah, maybe if it's in the morning, definitely coffee. A lot of times I'll have coffee, a diet Mountain Dew. They're not a sponsor, but they could be. And then you I'm making good time. I'm probably singing along. It's great. Then somewhere out there in the miles of nothingness in the desert. There's no real landmarks here. And yeah, I feel like I'm looking at the miles to go every five seconds. It's man, it is taking me forever. It's just me in the road. And then you start thinking, huh, I don't remember this part. I don't remember that part. Am I am I I'm the only one out there? Am I even going the right way now? Is did I miss something? Did I miss a turn? How much longer is this going to take? I haven't even got to the worst part yet. And all of that. So it's a trip. It's a drive. And this is a section of that drive. That stretch of road. No, it's not a mistake. You've done this before. It's part of getting where you're going. Nobody quits the trip because of the long empty highway or no rest stops in this period of time. You know what's coming. Focus on that. But people quit on life all the time in that same stretch of road. It happens to everybody. I want to encourage you to hold on. This is just part of the trip. And it happens to everyone because you're not special, just like everybody else. You're not unique to the struggle. But you can, you can beat it by how you respond, but also you can make it worse by how you respond. And I'm not saying this to you particularly, but you may know somebody going through this. But some of the reasons why it happens, and see if this hits any buttons for you. Maybe your career plateaus where growth slows and doubt creeps in. What am I going to do? Am I going to do this for another 20 years? I got 15 years till I plan on retirement, but I don't even know if I want to retire. Am I going to do this for all of that time? I know it starts to think if I'm going to make a move, I need to make it now. And that happens when you're not being either fulfilled or challenged, or maybe there's not opportunity in the company you're in, but you don't want to make a big choice. So you feel stuck. You're in a funk. Or maybe there's some life transitions. Your divorce. Maybe you did change a job. Maybe kids are moving out. Maybe your whole identity changes a little bit. Maybe you move to a new city. All of that stuff. That can cause a bit of a lull or a pause. Then a lot of people that are successful have this. You hit something big and then say, okay, now what? What's my encore? We call that success hangovers. All right, goodness. I hit that. I had a great year last year. My goodness. How can I top that? And you start thinking, oh, the pressure mounts. Yeah. And I tell you, we we get caught from time to time in comparison traps. Looking at someone else's highlight reel, and ah, I just don't feel like I'm going anywhere. I just feel stuck. Look how much fun they're having. My answer to that is have some fun. Not out of comparison. Just fill your day with fun. I'm gonna do a I'm gonna do a podcast on fun. That should be fun. Okay, I've said that enough. But that comparison trap. I'm seeing their highlight reel. They've been or are in a funk. They're just not letting you see it. And then fatigue. Oh my goodness. Maybe not burnout, but just worn down from carrying so much. There's different fatigue phases in my life that I look back. And honestly, I don't know. I've been in fatigue phases when I didn't realize I was in it until I got out of it. Right now I'm going through a time where I've got more free time and I am embracing it. I don't know if I can give it up. I'm really liking this. And so everybody hits some of these or all of these, and there's probably some more, but it happens to everybody. The difference is who moves through it and who sets up camp. You know, there's no shame in going to the rafters. The shame is staying there. It's a cutback. So there's a few things, a few sayings that I've heard that might help. The worst part about the middle is it feels like the end. Isn't that right? That you're just, oh, I'm stagnant. Especially if you're a fast-paced or high-energy person, when you aren't moving at a fast pace or with high energy, it feels horrible. It feels like the end. You don't need a new life, you need a new step. I like that. And you know the best step? The next step. Don't just sit here. Don't just sit here. Let's go. You're allowed to feel lost. You're not allowed to stay there. Ah, there's the rafters, baby. There's the rafters. Overwhelmed. Sometimes nothing can be overwhelming. Because you can't find something. And when you're in it, it's so tough. Progress doesn't always feel like progress while it's happening. That's why measurement, and I don't, I'm not going to go into the measurement part, but a lot of times with teams that I work with, we measure everything. We dig, we dig and dig. Because any sign of progress, all right. That's it. But sometimes you have to look for it. So sign of progress when you're in your own funk is what time did I get up today? What did I do first thing in the morning? Did I go for a walk? Did I make a call? Did I just lay in bed? Yeah. There's ways to show progress. And progress doesn't have to be mind-blowing, just the slightest bit. And then here's the last one I'll share is the people you admire didn't avoid this part. They just didn't quit. Oh, never quit. Never quit. It's okay to stop, but never quit. So part of this, too, when you get through it, and I've been through this, I don't know, many times. I'm trying to think of the last one, last time I went through this. I don't know. But when I look back, there's actually some good that comes out of it. It doesn't feel like it, but it is. You get clarity. Clarity forms during a funk or a downtime or a pause due to all these things that we said. You're starting to see what you want, you're starting to see what you don't want. But the main thing is you get some perspective on what matters, and you don't know where it's going to come from. But that clarity is so important for the next step. It is. Also, you become more aware of your environment and your situation because you're not coasting anymore. Awareness creates change, and change happens with action. It's hard to be in a funk when you're in action mode and you're clear on something. Because when you're clear, there's a direction and you're more aware of that. Also, you got more experience now. You're not guessing. You've lived enough to make better moves. I'll even say you lived enough to make a move and then judge it quicker. That's the right move. Is it the wrong move? Main thing is move. And two, you're uncomfortable. That's where growth lives. Comfort never built anything meaningful. One of the best pieces of advice I received when I started managing people, one of the guys that was I went to when I was having a tough time or asked for advice, or whatever you want to call it, he was saying, it's okay to leave somebody uncomfortable. You don't have to sugarcoat everything, or you don't have to make them uncomfortable and then let them off. It's okay to leave them uncomfortable because that's where the action happens. They won't stay that way. They will do something about being uncomfortable, which is a great thing. And that's where you get to during this phase you're going through. You're not behind. You may be uncomfortable feeling that way, but you'll do something. And the thing is, once you get through it, you realize I'm still in the game. I am, well, no matter what's been thrown at me, no matter how behind I felt, uh-uh, I'm still here. I've got a pulse and a will to win. Boom, let's go. Giddy up. So moving through it is the key. And I'm again, I want to reiterate, I'm not talking about deep depression. I'm not talking about a helpless, hopeless feeling necessarily. You're just not quite feeling up to speed as far as where you are at home, work, or play. So you don't need to reinvent yourself. You just need action or motion. So let's talk about moving through it. Take one step, not ten. This is not a 10-step program, a 12-step program, whatever you want to call it. One call, one meeting, one decision. Start there. Make an appointment, get a massage, make that appointment and go. And then relax. Maybe clarity comes. Part of it is just one step that gets you started. Control your inputs. How many times have I said that? What you listen to? People, things, podcasts, news, whatever. Think about what you listen to and control your inputs. Who you talk to, who you let talk to you, who you let influence you. Whatever you focus on, tighten that up. Tighten that up. Sometimes, silence. Have some quiet time. I did that earlier today. My son's coming to town, and so I had I'm a little ahead on my cleaning or getting ready for him, so we have no distractions. And I thought, you know what? I'm gonna go, I'm just gonna go sit by the pool with a cup of coffee. And I love to do that in the mornings, but I travel so much I'm not there. But that is my oasis. And something always comes to me. Something creative, a good thought, a memory, something. Because you can't hear who's trying to guide you, what's trying to guide you when your inputs are so full of noise you can't hear it. Yeah, just a little tidbit. And then get around, get around movement. People in motion create momentum. Go find them. Go to the grocery store, go to the mall, get in public. I like to go to shows. I like to go to live music or comedies, but get around people and interactions, as long as it's positive. That'll help you move more. That'll make you want to go. Worst thing you can do is just stay in the house and mope. Or get lost in your chores or whatever your routine is. But the thing is, to get through this, you need to lower the pressure level of feeling like you're behind. But don't lower your standards. You don't need perfection. You just need progress. You need movement. And you don't have to wait till you're the right timer, 100% ready. Do it on the way. And then the last thing I'll say on this, you know, how to get through it is stay in the day. Stop trying to solve the whole life. Stop trying to win this month. Win today. At the end of the day, I love the question. What did I do today that matters? That you'll hold on to. Because if you think you did something that matters, unless you're a hermit. You go back to the one, make one call, have a meeting, make one decision. Okay, at the end of the day, all right. What did I do that matters? And then that's a great way to end today because you will start tomorrow with that. But there's some lessons we can take with us because you're going to get through this. You're going to get through whatever this is, a day, a week, a month, however long this is lasting for on you. And usually they don't last too long for me, but I always take stuff with me. Don't waste this phase. It's expensive. It's dealing with your mental state a little bit. It's expensive, so don't waste it. And things you can take from it is you're stronger than you think you are. You've made it through everything so far. Everything that's been thrown at you. You made it. You made it through much tougher times than this. You're just in a funk right now. You're not under siege. And you made it through everything so far. You're stronger than you think. And other people see that. Also, sometimes we get all in our feelings during this. If we don't feel adequate or if we feel behind or we feel a little less than what we have been or could be. Feelings are not facts. Just because it feels off doesn't mean it is. Doesn't mean it is. I remember I've been on I've been on Teams before and I've had a project and I get in the funk during the project. I got plenty to do, but I just, uh I just don't feel, I don't feel right. And then I talk to somebody else and say, oh, I'm way ahead of them. But I didn't feel that way. So you can get caught up in your feelings, and then that becomes reality unless you're doing some of the things that I said. Get out there, move, regain some focus. Feelings are not facts. And then here, this is very true. I love to motivate. I love to be motivated. But momentum beats motivation. Action creates clarity, not the other way around. So getting you through, when you're not motivated, that's tough to move forward. So that momentum, that inertia that keeps you through that hour, that day, that morning, momentum beats motivation because you're not always going to feel like it. You're not always going to feel raw. But your momentum and resolve will get you through it. And you will know that once you get through it. Also, you don't need anybody's permission. You're allowed to change direction or adjust or let's try that again. Let's go. Let's redo. That's your decision. You don't need permission for that. And don't think you do. Because if you think you need permission, now you're going to blame somebody else, and there's an excuse. And weakness loves excuses. You don't need permission. Do it. We're talking about you now. And the thing is, when you do all this, you this is not something you want to get good out at good at out of repetition. Oh, I'm the funk master. I'm going through a funk every month. No, you don't want to do that. However, you'll be able to help someone else through their feelings of being behind later. It becomes part of your credibility, your story, your voice, your legacy. You'll help people. Man. I'm not comparing my time to yours, but I went through a similar thing. It's rough, isn't it? Okay. Yeah. And then let them talk, and they'll probably ask, how'd you get through it? Boom. There you go. You're not one-upping. You're not saying yours was worse. You're helping somebody because of what you've been through. It's it's great. And that's one of the best things about the human condition. We genuinely generally and genuinely want to help people. Yeah, but what you need to hear, I believe, is you're not stuck, you're not done, and you're not behind. You're just in a stretch that's not impressive, it's not exciting. It's a boring stretch of road. It's hot, you got a long way to go, and uh, you're tired, maybe. Yeah. It doesn't look impressive yet. It doesn't. But then the destination, you might not even know where the destination is, but it's gonna be glorious.

unknown 21:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

So you're not behind, you're just in the middle of a story. In the middle, it's messy, it's not exciting, it's uncertain. A lot of times it's quiet, and not the good kind of quiet. But it's also where strength gets built back, gets you ready for the next leg. Of the trip. Your direction gets more refined. It's much clearer where you're going. And the next chapter gets written because of it. So don't quit on a chapter. There are bad chapters in books, boring chapters, but part of it is setup. Part of it is character development. Hello. That's what you're in. So take the next step. Make the next move. Drive the next mile. Because one day you're going to look back at this stretch and realize it wasn't where you got lost. It's where you found your way. And that is exciting. Tough times, bleak times, uncertain times. They build you. They make you stronger. So that when you hit them again, I got this. I've been through it. I know how to do it. I've done it before, I'll do it again. I hope this helps. There's a lot of lot of struggles out there right now, a lot of uncertainty. So that's it. You've got everything you need. You got it. It's just a matter of recall and application. And that'll get you through this. You're not behind. You're on your way. Alright. Tell me what you think. Hit me up, david at otalks.com, David OTalks.com. Or just go to the site. There's stuff on there. How to get a hold of me where I'm gonna be. If you need anything, answers, you got a question, email me. I answer them all. I do. Ask the people around me. I do it at night. So I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for hanging out. Thanks for hanging on. But most of all, thanks for O talking with Dave. Giddy up.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

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