EVERYTHING Is NEGOTIABLE

Have you ever just accepted something that you didn't know was NEGOTIABLE?  Yeah, me too...

Negotiation isn’t a boardroom skill - It’s a life skill.

It shows up when you’re deciding where to eat, when a company tries to rewrite your deal, or when three grown adults stand on a tee box pretending they don’t care who goes first...while absolutely caring.

Join Dave for some NEGOTIATION about:

• 10 Things We Negotiate Every Day 
• 5 Reasons Why All Things Are Negotiable
• The 3 Components of Every Negotiation
• 5 Things to Consider Before Any Negotiation
• The Stakes: Losing vs. Compromise
• 5 Reasons to Listen 
• 5 Reasons to Show Mercy 
• 5 Reasons to Have Grace in Victory

Negotiation isn’t about squeezing every drop.

It’s the balance between strength and restraint.
 

Giddyup!!!

Email David@Otalks.com or OWD@Otalks.com for comments, questions, or ideas for content on an upcoming O'talkin' with Dave podcast.  Otalks.com

Check out OtalksOfficial on Instagram and TikTok

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to O'Talkin' with Dave. Put your hands together for the pastor of positivity whose glass is always at least half full. Here's Dave. Hey, how are we doing up there? I hope you're great. I am top shelf and ready to go. So I've had some feedback and I've been around some some atmosphere lately that it set negotiating as an argument or as combative. And it hit me. I negotiate all the time. Negotiating occurs all day, every day. It's not just a boardroom skill, it's a life skill. And when you think about it, everything is a negotiation to some degree. It shows up when you're deciding where to eat. Oh, the battle. Oh, the battle. It's not a battle. It's a quiet deliberation where how many times have you said, well, how about here? No. How about here? No. How about here? No. Okay. Where you want to go? I don't care. Forever. Forever. But when a company like if a company tries to rewrite your deal, or where people want to stand on a principle, or when three grown grown men stand on a T box pretending they don't care who goes first. It's all these are negotiations. And nobody cares until they do care. The thing is, we constantly act like we don't care when we do. So let's focus on that just a second. At home, work, or play, let's negotiate what we care about. Most of this is a quiet, subtle, constant battle that some of us play. So let me start with this, and I may hit it several times over the next 30 minutes to an hour and a half, depending on how wordy I get. Negotiating is a lot easier when you don't try to win everything. You don't go for the win as much as you go for the best outcome for everybody. Everybody can win. And we'll get back to that toward the end, but there are things that negotiating should enhance the experience for everybody. Now, one thing I'm not talking about haggling. It could be a haggle. That's one thing I don't like when I go out of the country, Mexico or the Caribbean. You have constantly have people trying to sell you something and then they want to haggle. Or they'll send their kids out there on the street to do whatever. And that's that makes me uncomfortable. Just about all other areas of negotiating, I'm pretty comfortable doing that. And I actually like it. As long as the goal is for everybody to come out in a good spot. There you go. Okay, so let's jump in. I can stop it right there, but let's jump in a little bit. So things we we negotiate every day, but we don't really think of as negotiating. I said one of them, okay, where are we going to eat tonight? I usually like to know quickly, pretty soon after lunch, where I'm going to have dinner, I like to get my stomach in the right frame of mind. You know what I mean? Can I start to crave it? Oh, that's great. And then if you change last minute, no okay. Because you don't get a body like this by being too picky about where you eat, but that that can be a real negotiation. What are we watching on TV? Or what what are we gonna pretend to watch while we're scrolling? Remember when it used to be what movie we're gonna rent? You go to Blockbuster or some other video or DVD emporium. I can remember we used to go and it'd take us an hour and a half to pick something. We could have watched it in the time we chose to pick it. Now it's too late to watch it. So we'll just watch it tomorrow night. A week later, we haven't watched it yet, but it's three days late. We ended up, ooh, it's crazy. Not a lot of negotiating there. Nobody won. Nobody won. And that's the thing. A lot of times, if there's not negotiating, nobody wins. Instead of the best outcome for everybody. Who's driving? We're gonna take your whose car are we taking? Thankfully, Uber solved a lot of that. But remember that? It's a negotiation. What time are we leaving? Okay. All right, what time are we leaving? What's the absolute latest we can leave? Some people never take the flight they book. They push it back to a later flight or they reschedule. They never move it up, I've noticed. Sometimes the late flight on Wednesday occurs Thursday morning. I might as well go to and they move the flight. And it's easy to do. But when you're talking with other people and they're involved, it's a little harder to do. So you can't just throw your tater tots on any flight. So, what time are we leaving? Who's doing what around the house? This all needs to be done. This is a lifelong discussion. The chores, they all have to be done. Who's gonna do what? Okay, if we all pitch in, we can get it done quickly, and then we can do this. We gotta negotiate who's gonna do what quickly, and then we gotta negotiate what is this that we're gonna do when we get through doing that. Yeah. You end up unorganized, and nobody wins a lot of time. So you want to do something. What do you do? Okay, do we got we got some free time? You want to play golf? Okay, we could we got time to play golf, or we could go play tennis. Or we could we could totally forsake all human dignity and pull a hamstring playing pickleball. What do we do? What do we do? Which we gonna do? Who's gonna decide? Yeah. It's negotiation. How much are we gonna spend? Ooh. Ooh. Let me tell you this. Don't don't get happy and go furniture shopping. You'll end up coming home with a pale yellow living room suit when you got two dogs and uh less than stellar housekeeping skills. Yeah. You end up spending way too much. You buy a yellow, pale yellow living room suit. When you go shopping in a convertible BMW, that you couldn't even get an Ottoman in the back. Then a week later it shows up. It's who bought this? Let me tell you, nobody won that. But how much are you going to spend? I'm in Vegas. People, smart people will come in and here's my gambling money. Here's all my other money. And they keep them separate. That's a negotiation. Sometimes you negotiate with yourself. I do that all the time. Yeah. And the thing is, when I negotiate with myself, I usually get my way. It's not always the best outcome, but I digress. How about weekend plans? Are we going to be productive or are we going to eat a sandwich and take a nap? Okay. That's another negotiation I do with myself a lot. My weekends are so crazy, I need to go back to work to get some rest. How long do we stay somewhere before we give each other the high sign and let's get out of here? Or before we mentally check out. Yeah. Who apologizes first? Ouch! Hello, Yahtzee. And who pretends they didn't do anything wrong? That doesn't sound like a negotiation. That sounds more like a potential argument, a standoff. It needs negotiate. There's a ton. There's a ton. The thing is, you don't get to opt out of a negotiation. You either get better at it or you get run over by it. If you don't engage, you're just leaving your circumstances up to the chaos or the whims of others. So let's negotiate. We can call it something else if you want. Because negotiating, as I've learned in the last bit, has got a negative term. And when you negotiate with somebody, if it is a negotiation, uh, it's a battle. Who's going to win? Everybody can. Most people miss it. Everything is negotiable. Everything. Not because everything changes, but because everything has context. Context. I usually play the game with this. Tell me something that's not negotiable, and they'll yell things out and we can argue, but it is negotiable. Everything. You can't tell me anything that's not negotiable. You can think if you want, and I'll come back to this in a minute. Talk amongst yourselves. Okay, let's talk about five reasons why all things are negotiable. This will, this may help you a little bit. First of all, circumstances change. What was firm yesterday became flexible today. I'm going through a negotiation right now that not telling too much, what was firm became pretty flexible when all the facts came out. And when alternatives came up and a win-win happened versus you lose, yeah, things change. Circumstances can make things a little more flexible today than they were yesterday. Also, people have pressures on them that you can't see. Deadlines, quotas, stress, pressure from wherever. Everything from I gotta get this toy for my kid or they're gonna lose their mind. A lot of negotiating during Christmas time, but the retailers have more leverage, we'll say. So all of that, you know, with your partner, with your kids, with your parents, with your job, with your friends. And some of these negotiations are around image or stress or all these things I've named, but you don't know all of these things that are in that person's world that you're negotiating with. So it can, everything's negotiable. Two, a lot of times the value of something is totally subjective. What's expensive to you may be cheap to them, or vice versa. You may have plenty of time on your hands and they're in a tight crunch. That matters. That matters. It is a it's in play. We need to negotiate. And timing. Timing can shift all the power. Early, late, urgent, patient. Timing changes leverage. It does. I just bought a car and it's the first part of the month. And I haven't had a I've been driving a truck forever and I needed a personal vehicle. So I went, it's you know, I've always heard wait till the end of the month, a holiday, end of the quarter, all these things where timing is different. Let me tell you something. I know as a sales guy, there's somebody in that dealership that needs a sale today. And so I just go find that guy. And it's easy to find them. But timing is important. Timing is important. And then options. Options can definitely create movement. More alternatives. If you can come up with other alternatives, whoo, they become more flexible. Now, going out to eat, this is fantastic. I don't I think it may be more of a southern thing. I know you'll hit me if I'm wrong. We like to go to the same place. We like a schedule. We like a routine. And the crazy thing is we'll order the same one, two, or three things every time. They can probably go ahead and make it when they see us come in the door, and we're gonna pick one. Maybe all three. I got my buffet breeches on, I may get all three. But see, different options can create movement. Too many options create a stalemate. And we've talked about that. About the shoe salesman, it just makes you pick one of two. But see, nothing, and I could probably tell you 20 more, but nothing is as fixed as it looks. Nothing moves unless someone knows how to move it. I have a dear friend, he's quite a bit older than me. I need to check on him, as a matter of fact. But we would go out and eat quite often. We worked together. We were friends though, but we worked, we started out with a business relationship. And he would never look at a menu. Never. He could be the first time he ever went to a place, and he would just look at them and you know what I'm hungry for? And he would tell him what tell them what he wanted to eat, and they either had it or they didn't. But most of the time they had something close or they would suggest something. Every meal was a negotiation. He was hungry, they served food, he's got money, they need to get paid. It was the most pleasant negotiation you ever saw. Because I never, he was a big guy like me. He's gonna find something to eat. But it was a negotiation. Nobody's reading anything. There's no price on that. That doesn't exist on the menu. Yeah. So nothing is as flexible, nothing is as fixed as it looks. So let's talk about any negotiation. Any negotiation. There's really three components. You can break it down to 10, you can probably bloat it up to 20 or whatever, but I like threes. So we're gonna go with these three. The first one, know your place. Now have some clarity around your place. You go to a mall, a huge mall, you go to a map, they say you are here. Thankfully, otherwise, it's gonna take me 10 minutes to find where I am. They put that right there. That's what this clarity play is. What do you actually want? What do you want? People that don't know what they want, how are they gonna know what to fight for and know when they get there? And also, people with a defined walkaway point, they give up. At least 40% more. I don't know. I don't know what I want, so I don't know, I don't know where my line is. And your walk away means uh-uh, it's just I can't negotiate anymore. You're not gonna not eat that night, but people without a uh defined walking walkaway point, they give up to somebody else. They don't go home. I don't care where we eat. Okay, we'll eat Indian food. Have you ever eaten food before? No. No. Does anybody know how to order any food? No, no. Then it keeps going, it keeps going. Oh, okay, I'll go. 40% of the time. You gotta know. I'm eating Italian food tonight. I'll let you pick whatever Italian restaurant you want. I talk about food a lot, I guess you've noticed that. But that's something simple. The same thing is true in a corporate setting. A pricing, a contract agreement, all of that. What do you want? What's our walkaway point? Was it is it price? Is it terms and conditions? Is it warranty? Is it indemnity? What is your walkaway point? Because the stakes are pretty high there. So if you don't define your terms, someone else will. That's why going into this, have clarity. It's not being aggressive, it's discipline. No matter what. Golf courses, the order in which we play, anything. It's negotiable. What direction? How are we gonna get there? The five different ways to get across town. Which way are we gonna go? My walkaway is I'm not gonna be late. In some ways, take longer, some ways may have more traffic. Who's driving? All of that. It's decision making that has factors that you come to an agreement on. All that's negotiating. Have some clarity. Know what you want, know what your walkaway is, know your place. Number two, know your counterpart. And your counterpart could be a person, it could be a group of people, it could be a competitor, it could be a friend, it could be a wife, anything. Know who that is. Who's involved in this negotiation and what do they really want? What do they really want? The better you know them, the better you know this. The more history you have, the more you know the answer. Over 70% of better outcomes come from identifying the other's true driver. What is what's pushing them for this? It could be fear, it could be urgency, it could be ego, it could be constraints. That's where the truth lives. That's where their sweet spot is. And you're not negotiating with a position, you're negotiating with that person behind it. So, what do you want? What do they really want? Many times they're close. They're closer than it appears. A lot of times, nope, we couldn't be more far apart. But know them, know what they want. At home, easy. Play, usually pretty easy. At work, easier than you think. Because a lot of things at work, you're not working on a deal, you're jousting with internal stuff. It could be HR, it could be customer service. If you're outside sales, you joust with inside sales, and vice versa. All of that, quotas, deadlines, a lot of those are not negotiable. However, the stuff behind that, there's so many things that are negotiable. And the goal is to get an outcome that pleases everybody, and you can have teamwork, alignment, leverage, and just push, baby. I'm getting pumped. Okay. Know what you want. Know what your counterpart wants. And then know your leverage point. That's number three. What's resolution look like? And what are you going to use your resolve to get? And really to sum this up, know your leverage is what happens if you say no? What happens if you say nope? Take my toys and go home. Not going to play anymore. A calm, steady resolve increases credibility or perceived credibility. The one willing to walk away often controls the outcome. Yep. I went to three car dealerships. Not to really pit them against each other. I just wanted to be informed. And you know the one I bought from? The first one. You know why I bought from the first one? I went and got three prices. I was just going to pay for the car. I needed your best out the door price. That's what I said. The first one, they gave me one. Okay, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna buy a car out later today or in the morning. Okay? So I need that. As a young guy, he needed a sale. I go to the next one. Young guy needed a sale. Then I told him the same thing. Gave me a price that was a little bit better than the first one. First guy was really nice. I liked him. Then I went to the third one. It was an old guy needing a sale. And I told him about the first two. And he said, here's what we can do. I said, here's what you gotta beat. I'm not gonna dicker. Sounds dirtier than it really is. However, after I finished the third one, the first guy called me back. He called me, he said, Where are we at? And I said, Well, here's the three deals. You were the first, you were kind to me, you told me everything I needed, you spent some time with me. If you can beat that, you got a deal. He did, we did, everybody was happy. Not everybody, number two and number three, they weren't too happy. However, I knew the leverage. I knew what was going on. And I walked away three times. I went back that one. But that's important. What happens if you say no? And it was calm. It was cordial conversations everywhere. I don't like a lot of back and forth. So that made for a quick negotiation. Did I pay too much? Absolutely. Absolutely. However, I knew what I wanted and I got it. There you go. I don't always win, by the way. Pretty arrogant. That's fresh on my mind. It's nice, it's in the garage right now. So let's talk about the psychology behind all this. Let's hit it real quick again because I think I rambled a little bit. But know what you want. Know what they want, what are their drivers, and then know your leverage. That's the three things. So that psychology psychology behind it, it's okay, influence. Certainty beats brilliance. If you're sure of something and somebody's coming in that's absolutely brilliant, or maybe you have more sophisticated and str extravagant ideas, being certain about something it totally beats any epiphanies around that. Those are what ifs and what could happen. And almost a fanny say, wouldn't that be great? But I know this for sure. That's a part of the psychology. The second part is intuition. Experience shows up as instinct, muscle memory. Your gut. Influence is it it's the certainty beating brilliance, but that intuition, I've got a gut feeling. Now your gut, my gut has done me wrong before. However, that if it comes from experience instead of emotion, it just shows up. It does. And it's fantastic. And you trust it. And that almost becomes certainty, which hits on the influence. And then here we go again. Resolve in a different way. Resolve. Influence, intuition, and resolve. Resolve. This is around hesitation. If you hesitate, you get punished. Composure gets rewarded. Don't veer. You understand. Be confident. Here's what I want. And I know we're talking about some serious stuff when you're talking about where we're going to go eat. However, if you have that resolve, that calm resolve, experience and instinct, it shows up. Yeah, last time we went there, if you'll remember, blah, blah, blah. And then the whole influence is we know this for certain. That's a great idea. Slick marketing. But we're hungry. We love their food. It's a good price. I think that's where we should go. A lot of times people don't follow logic. They follow the confidence. The confidence that feels earned. Many times. And I mean as a dad or a leader, a lot of times, yeah, I can just say because I said so. However, what do they say? The difference in a leader and a manager. With a leader, people walk with them, and a manager has to keep looking back to see if anybody's there. Yeah. So I can say because I said so. However, I liked people to go along with me, to follow me, to go with me, because I had so much confidence and I was so sure of myself, they thought, yeah, let's go. Because that builds momentum. Whether you're going out to eat or you're building teams on the West Coast, or you're, I don't know, you're on the dating pool, whatever that could be. It's important. So before any negotiation, though, just I think it's we talked about the three steps in any negotiation, but before it starts, I want to hit these again. What's my best outcome? Okay, is that realistic? Yeah. I'm going to negotiate a settlement and I'm going to do it based on best case scenario for the next year. That sounds great. That'd be my best outcome. That's not realistic. Okay, so that's the first one. Second, where do I draw the line? My walk away. I won't accept any less than this. We have to have this. Maybe it's a no, maybe it's a time period. My family's moving. I want to sell a house. I have to have this house sold by this time. Others are variables. The deadline is on this date, it can't be after. We can negotiate all the other. This is a non-negotiable. Where do I draw the line? What does the other side need more than what they're saying? Okay. That's selling anything, agreeing to a vacation with friends, I don't know, dealing with a spouse, whether you want to have children or not. I'm just picking stuff out of a hat here. It's all a negotiation. And ladies, you have the upper hand on that. Yeah, more to that. Okay, so then you think, okay, where does what I want and what they want overlap? What's that middle ground? Maybe we start with that. We both want this. It's a great way to start. And then bottom line is, am I truly willing to walk away? Am I? When it comes right down to it, I walk away. I wasn't I wasn't coming home without a car. It was not an option. You can get really creative. I did that one time before. I never did a lease before, and there was a lease, and I had a situation to where I was young. I didn't have a ton of credit, but I had some cash. So I paid off a lease. I said, what if I just pay you all three years right here up front? And at the end, if I go over on mileage, I'll pay that. That was able to a young guy with without credit. I didn't have bad credit, but we found a way. They needed to lease a car. I needed to, I didn't want to walk home. And so we found a way. But I had to have one. I was not willing to walk away. Many times I have. And having that walk away confidence is strong. Usually you won't get to the door. So all of that preparation that builds this quiet confidence. And I'll hit them again. What's the best outcome? Is it realistic? Where do I draw the line? There's things I won't do and things I'm willing to do. Where's that line? What does the other side need more than they're saying? Where's the overlap? Middle ground. And will I walk away from this? Will I? I need to know that right now. Okay. So many times with negotiating, you think the boldest, the one with the most bravado, the one with all the cards and they know it. We'll call them the lion. People think lions always win versus lambs in negotiating. You just assume that. Not always. I'll tell you when the lamb wins. And sometimes, if you're a lion, you need to be a lamb. But the lamb wins if it stays patient when the lion gets sloppy. Feed them rope. There's some situations that I can't really share right now, but many times overpowering competition. Okay, they know it, they take it for granted. A lot of this is in business with competition who they're just used to winning. Okay, just be patient. They'll get sloppy, they'll drop the ball on something. That's when the lamb wins. Also, the lamb wins when they understand timing. When timing is better, that adds to their strength. And the timing could be in contrast to some of the lion's situation. It could be understanding the other person's situation a little more than they think you do. Timing's important. Kids, wives, friends. Corporately. Very important. And the lamb also wins when it lets the lion burn energy roaring. If it was a gorilla, it'd be beating their chest and showing, it'd be like in boxing, the rope of dope. Let them use all their energy. And then that quiet confidence with the right timing and understanding. It shows up. Homework and play. The lion can also win. We talked about the lamb winning, but the lion can win when it shows mercy. Not just bravado, not just brute strength. When the lion chooses long-term influence over short-term control, okay, that's a better outcome. They can win, and it's a better outcome. Preserving the relationship. There are times when one side can annihilate the other. And that's what I referred to earlier. That's not good. That causes harm that's that expands outside the negotiation. When you don't get to go eat where you want to, and then you start talking about your mother-in-law and blah, blah, blah, and then they're sick later, and you pile on and blah, blah, blah. That's being reckless. That doesn't preserve the relationship. That just makes the next negotiation a little tougher. But also, the lion wins with mercy when it knows it doesn't have to prove anything. Winning with grace. Not having to go back and say, see, this was much better, wasn't it? Aren't you glad we did what I said? Okay, get ready. Get ready. Because power isn't just force, it's control of force. That is so true in sports, in intellectual battles, in any negotiation. Power isn't just force, it's control of force. So the thing with you've got in any negotiation, you have stakes, whether major or minor. You have stakes. And so the thing is, a lot of times you look at losing. I talk about it's not all about winning, it's about getting the best outcome for both parties. That is there, that's ideal. But also you look at losing versus compromising. If I compromise, I'm right. I know what I'm doing here. If I compromise, then I lost. No, not at all. I want to talk about that a little bit because a lot of people will fight a battle they don't want to fight, but once they're in it, they got to win because their ego is too big for them to lose. So let's just talk about losing versus compromise. So think about it. If you win everything, but lose the relationship, that's not winning. Compromise can build future opportunities. So let's find. I can still win. I don't have to win everything, but I can win. Those steps I talked about earlier. I can get the outcome that I can live with. And I compromise a little and I sustain the relationship and build opportunity for more. I can push hard. I can push so hard a deal can collapse. However, I can compromise a little and keep it going. I may not win, but at least I can keep it going rather than end it right here. I'm not talking out of both sides of my mouth. Know your walk away, know what no is. However, if I push too hard and kill the deal, if I had you're going to look back and a compromise here or there. And it can be delicate compromises. It can lead to progress. Ego, we talked about that. Or I talked about that. You haven't said much. Protect the ego. Okay? You're going to damage the outcome. Even if you get what you want, or you compromise, but you're pushing your ego so much. When you compromise correctly, you strengthen your position. And a stronger position is better for your ego than getting kicked out or not getting anything. Half of something is better than all of nothing. And then the thing is, you have the people out there that are control freaks or perfectionists. You miss momentum with that. I frustrate people who I work with for the first time because they don't know results. And I tell them what I can do. And if they don't believe me, okay. If they give me a chance, all right. But I follow a philosophy: 75% good, let's go for it. I don't have to be 90 or 100% sure. Oh, I think this is direction. Let's push, and we can sometimes we change the tire while we're rolling down the highway. That's an adjustment. We don't actually do that. That's not safe. However, the I'm not a perfectionist. I'm not a control freak. I just know that if I can compromise, I can get some traction, and then I can use that traction to create momentum. I think it's vital. But compromise is key. And the last one I'll say you can be so adamant you burn a bridge. And that can limit future options. By that I mean with friends. Oh goodness, I've seen people in churches, very political charged churches, where people burn a bridge, they're done. They might as well, they may change. They just need to change churches. May need to change religions altogether. But look at companies. Oh, inside an industry, it's a small world. You burn that bridge, you are limiting your future options. In a neighborhood, I have seen people show up at a Fourth of July party and make such an ass of themselves, it affected all future things that they attended because people just ready for that again. When you compromise, you don't limit your options, you expand them. That's a reasonable person. His faults, okay, but look at his upside. Compromise. You can win the moment and lose the future. There's many things. This won't get you the job, but it'll sure make you lose it. Christmas parties with companies. How you do at that party, it won't get you that promotion, but it could get you fired. That's the way it is if you're not willing to compromise. And another thing when negotiating, anything, you gotta listen. Even when you can win big and do that knockout punch, listen, information is power and it's leverage that you can use at some point. Not bad leverage, good leverage. And people reveal more when they feel heard. That's, and I don't think I'm throwing a baby out with the bathwater right now, but that's my interviewing style. I get somebody so comfortable when they're wanting a position with a company I'm with, they'll tell me things they wouldn't tell me otherwise. But they'll tell you more when they feel like you're listening and they're heard. Listening also slows an emotional decision. Keep going. I don't feel good right now, but make me feel better about this. Thinking that, not saying it. They kept going. Oh, I see. I see where this is coming from. And it's also when you're respectful and listen in a negotiation, no matter who you're talking to, all the groups I said before, homework or play, that lowers their defenses. It does. Oh, they're listening to me. They're giving me good feedback, they're giving me good nonverbal feedback, they're letting me talk, they're not interrupting. And then the real opportunity is usually hidden back there somewhere. What it means to them. It can change your mind. You may decide to compromise even more if you just listen. Talking is noise. Listening can make you money, it can make you happier, it can make your belly full. Listening makes a difference. So you got it. You've won. You can take this to the cleaners. Clearly, you're in a better spot. And that's the case when you could devastate your counterpart. Why should we show mercy? Mercy came running. Today's opponent may be tomorrow's ally. So many times in business. I was with a company, we had 18 acquisitions in three years. I devastated some competition and then they had to come work for me. We bought their company. Ugh. What if it's the other way around? What if I devastated them and then they bought my company? Now I have to work for them.

unknown 38:48

Whew!

SPEAKER_00 38:49

So today's opponent could be tomorrow's ally. We're on the same team. Look at the Olympic team. All these, the Olympic basketball team, we'll just take them. Battling each other all year round. Now they're on the same team. Dream team. Reputation compounds faster than results. And reputation, a lot of times you can't control that. But when you show mercy, they're going to remember that. He could have done this and he didn't. They could have fired me, but they gave me another chance.

unknown 39:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

The waiter spilt a whole plate of food in my lap, but he comped the meal and paid for my dry cleaning. I'm making stuff up. Also, power without restraint, it will cause resistance. It will cause defenses. If you just come at them, they're going to fight back harder. And mercy, this almost sounds biblical. Mercy builds influence. Have mercy. Lord have mercy. Yeah. Grace and mercy. Grace is giving someone something they don't deserve. Mercy is not giving somebody something that they do deserve. And I think probably one of the biggest reasons to show mercy, you're gonna need it one day. You will need mercy one day. And you don't know when or why. Winning is ugly when all you do is overpower. Winning ugly is still losing later on. I believe that with all my heart. So the last thing five five reasons to have grace and victory. Okay, you won. That's fantastic. You won. Let's not go around and spike the ball and do the happy dance in front of your foes. So why have grace and victory? Long-term respect. Yeah, I'm I've been I can think back in my sports career many times. A bad loser, a bad winner is a loser. Long-term respect. It keeps doors open. It's a small world. You're gonna need mercy someday. Also, you're gonna need grace someday. It separates confidence from arrogance. That's a thin line. That is a thin line. Confidence, Michael Jordan. Arrogance, LeBron James. Disgust. It also builds a reputation that people trust. Yeah. I can think back so many times when maybe I lost a situation and that person was gracious in victory. Yeah, they, you know what? They were better. I can learn from them. Or at least they didn't rub it in my face. Plus, it makes people want to deal with you again. Next time, a good competitor. I love that. So anyone can take. Very few know how to win. All right, I've covered it. I think from just about every angle. If I didn't hit me up, but negotiation isn't about squeezing every drop out of it. It's about knowing when to hold and when to move. You thought I was going to say fold, didn't you? Knowing when to hold and then when to move on something. And when to let something breathe. Timing, cadence, that's all important. And it's that balance between strength and restraint, between clarity and curiosity. They're both great. Between getting what you want and also keeping what matters most. Because the real win is just walking away with a deal. It's walking away with your reputation intact. Your options. They're expanded now. And your name being the one that people hope shows up on the other side of the table. That's not luck. That's mastery. Get the deal that you can live with and that doesn't burn bridges. It'll pay off in the future. Some say take the high ground. Yeah. But still win. Alright. Hope this helps. Everything's a negotiation. Giddy up. So hit me up. Tell me what you think. David at Otalks.com, Dave at Otalks.com. Just go to the site. There's a bunch of stuff on there. OTalks.com. Tell you how to get in touch with me and the latest and greatest. The greatest, I didn't say the best. So thanks for hanging out. Thanks for hanging on. But most of all, thanks for O Talking with Dave. Giddy up.